I really don’t know how to say goodbye.

I’ve been contemplating suicide near the time I got into high school. I couldn’t cope with my parents’ emotionally instability all too well. Eventually I did. The thoughts died down for some time only to come back even more frequently and intensely as my coping mechanisms couldn’t work anymore. Anyhow, I want to carry my thoughts out now, but the only reason stopping me are the few people I care about. The thing is, I feel worried for them. I want…to leave them reasons why that way they don’t have to think my passing was their fault. Very often I burst into tears when another barrage of thoughts come and I think of them. I don’t want them to be left hanging thinking it was their fault, cause it isn’t. It’s never going to be. I  love them too much, and I know it’s going to be hard to say goodbye. So I’m reluctant to confront them. I’m going to write 4 letters…I don’t even know where to start. I just want them to move on. I don’t care if they forget me, I care that they might not.