I have been through a lot but mainly it’s been all in my head but I’m proud that I’m here still, alive and fighting! Each day is a struggle but there are moments in each day that I am thankful to have been their to experience it. Hope is that glimmer of light in the dark tunnel, that peace of mind that you get once in a while and most importantly “tomorrow”. I’ve cried myself to sleep most nights and I’ve even had no sleep once but through it all I was just happy to be alive. Pain is a good thing because it means you’re still alive and some days I felt like I was already dead but I’m so glad I kept going even if my days were on repeat. Just the breath of fresh in my lungs is something that I used to take for granted but it’s my friendly reminder that their’s still hope for me to fight back against my black dog and turn things around. I mean in the end we’re all going to die but not all of us will get to live. I have the whole of eternity to be at peace but only one lifetime to love, cry and laugh. I’m not going to ruin my loved ones lives just because I’m unhappy with my life.
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I wish I was like you I wish I had the strength to live in like you. I won’t be along much longer so I wish you luck with life.
You’re lucky to have loved ones to worry about hurting!
Hi RenoBill,
You know I never thought of that before? Thanks
You’re also lucky you can cry… I’m just numb – I wish I could free all these black emotions.
Hi freemee,
I know what it’s like to not be able to cry and just be numb. I hated it and I started to get this build up of emotion in my chest area that I wasn’t able to release. It only lasted a week because I stopped taking the antidepressants that I was on that was blocking my emotions. When I cry at night, it feels like it’s the end of the world and that my life is so worthless that’s there is no hope for me. I usually feel sorry for myself too and also stupid that I’m crying in the first place.