Hey, I’m sixteen years old (almost seventeen) and I just really can’t cope anymore. I have no reason to live.
I’ve not had friends in years. Nobody wants to talk to me unless they want something off of me. And because I want friends really bad, I just let them use me, but then they leave. I guess I could say I have abandonment issues. I’ve been basically abandoned my whole life.
I don’t exactly have a family either. Well, they’re there, but I don’t even exist to them unless they want something from me (usually money) Which yes, sounds oddly strange since I’m only 16, but when they need money they’ll take money that I’ve earned by myself and use it. My mum doesn’t act like I exist now she’s got married to someone.
I got forced in to going college. I got told I’d make friends there, which I did. But yet again they let.
All I had was my boyfriend and one close friend, but they both left too.
Now I’m left here, alone, abandoned. I don’t exist to anyone so why should I even be here?
It’s getting worse every day now. I know soon enough I will kill myself.
I just don’t know why all this is happening to me. What did I do to deserve this?
I can’t take this anymore. Nobody here will notice I’m gone.
Every cut gets deeper. I just hope one day it gets deep enough to end everything.
10 comments
I know how you feel. When I was 16 I was raising my youngest sister while keeping food on the table for my whole family. The closest thing I had to a father took his life when I was 15. You didn’t do anything to deserve the shitty hand you were dealt, we just live in a crappy world. And, unless I’m a nobody, you’re wrong, I may not know you, but you posted here and now I’ll notice if you’re gone. I’m not gonna tell you things will just get better, but I’m here if you ever need to talk or rant, and I won’t abandon you.
wow ur 16 and in college u must b really smart
Hi Annakitty
I’ve seen your post and feel for you.
Your so young and although you think all is lost, all is not. We all experience times of self doubt, loneliness and times of depression. I have too myself.
As I am a mother I know that sometimes I don’t always give enough attention to my daughter as what she requires. I know this because she has told me so. In my times of depression I put all my efforts into my job so I don’t have time to think about my own problems, problems that I hold deep to myself. This is why I think I don’t give enough time to my own daughter. I do love but with all my heart and if anything ever happened to her, I would never forgive myself. What I trying to say is that your mother does love you she has just been sided tracked. Try and find some quite time with her and let her know your problems.
I not sure which country your from but there is always someone to help you. See your doctor and let them know what your feeling and that you need help to work through your thoughts. They will refer you to someone to get help and work through how you feel and hopefully get an understand of why you feel that way. It could be even that your mum has remarried and now you don’t have your mother all to yourself anymore. It could be a simple as this. I know when my mum started seeing other men when my mum and dad broke up, I would do anything to ensure I did not like them and make fun of them. Now that I’m older, I see my mum is very lonely, which makes me quite sad for her.
Life has it’s up and downs. I should know, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster from time to time but things do get better from time to time and I’m just so glad I’m here during those times as I would have never have got to see them.
Your so young and who knows what is around the corner just waiting to make better life.
People can have their lives just ripped away from underneath them due to terminal illness, I have watch so many of them just wanting another chance.
You have it. Now it’s your turn to go and get it.
Helping hand xxxx
thank you so much @trappedinthought it means a lot. i’m here if you need to talk too. i’m kind of new to this so i’m not sure how to work this site very well right now! haha thank you!
and @Tombs i’m from england. Our college is like 11th grade and upwards in highschool. It’s pretty complicated haha!
That was good advice. Liked it very much.
No need to thank me, I’m happy to help, however I can.
Well this is how I like to look at it… yes, people will leave. They’ll lie, they’ll betray you, and they’ll abandon you. And it’ll hurt, every time. But I like to think of it as a kind of separation process, dividing between the people who are worth being around and the ones you should distance yourself from and forget. The problem is that you can’t tell at first glance which of the categories someone falls into, so you just have to let them reveal that to you themselves, through their actions. Still, I know this doesn’t make it all any less painful.
But out there somewhere there are a few rare people who are worth your time. Worth all the effort. Finding them….that’s the hard part. But if you want a gem you’ve gotta do a little digging.
Welcome to SP btw… and I hope you keep those cuts shallow, at least for the time being. No need to rush these things. Post, talk to us, stall some time.
@helpinghand thank you so much! knowing that makes me feel a bit less worthless. i understand a bit more now that parents have a harder time than me and maybe that’s why i don’t get the attention at times! and very true! thank you so so much for your help and advice! i’m always here if you need to talk! 🙂
@TheRiver that’s a very good positive way of putting it! it’s just hard when it seems that i have nobody worth being around then, but it gets really lonely all the time :/ i’m just scared i won’t find them people. i don’t exactly go out much because i always get judged so i don’t have a clue how i’m going to make friends again 🙁 but thank you so much for your help/advice! it means a lot 🙂
Well, there’s always the internet haha. As far as the “real world” goes though, yeah it sucks when you’re stuck in the same places with the same routine and the same people. Not too many ways to meet new people in that situation. I know it gets lonely, trust me, I know. But all you can do is try, and hope for the best.
for me, people usually leave before they ever arrive.