I feel this weird combination of hate and depression. I hate everyone else, yet I feel depressed every time I see them (my “friends”). What hurts me the most is the fact that nothing really really bad has happened to me, yet I feel very depressed and sad. I shouldn’t. There are people who are in a worst situation than me. But I can’t get over that feeling. I feel alone, yet maybe I’m not. Maybe I should be happy, but I don’t feel happy. I feel really sad.
I’ve been told like a million times things like “Get over it. I think you’re the one who doesn’t want to change”… Yeah, because it’s sooo great feeling sad or depressed (sarcasm). I swear I’ve tried to be fine, to be alright, but I can’t. There’s always this feeling of loneliness or depression around me. There’s always those people that hurt me with their words or with their behavior and hipocrecy. I can’t. I just can’t. And I’m sorry for this. I shouldn’t be sad, but I am, and I can’t get over it.
I am so sorry.
3 comments
we are kinda alike except my world is so fucked up that i like criticsm. the words hurt but its that turning the other cheek thing that gets me tough. you see they have to answer to someone at the end of this great race called life you remember that when people use those words turst me i used to have anxiety attacks walking to school in the morning, i literally felt like i was going to have a heart attack, i was late just about evry morning because i went to school with the children of the corn. really insensitive people but you try responding really naturally without a loud tone, relax– meaning forget the whoosa and the whole relaxed heartbeat thing, just feel your body relax everything else will slow down or catch up remember you going thru and that’s called stress. feel comfortable IN YOUR OWN SKIN and do you. You sound awesome, so let it go roll it off the tongue let the lips fly you can be amazed by how YOU can put someone in their place without cussing them out and how much of a sense of humor you got about it, and damn good of how you can walk away like a true diva. trust me that is whats called being yourself let your body relax, feel those nerves surge and relax that brain unfold, and let those eyes work. you can make it, remembering you holding a light!
I have been in this place and the best thing to do is to talk to people about it; talking about it to a friend or family member, or even me! (which would be awesome) talking allows you relax and feel comfortable with your surroundings.
I feel sort of the same as you. Except instead of just listening to others, I’ve come to accept all the horrible things they say about me, and now I cut. I’m not suggesting you start, I’m just saying that that is the only way I can deal with what is happening in my life. Try to keep fighting though. I know it makes me a hypocrit to tell you to keep going when I’m going to end it, but I’d like for you to try.