to want or not to want

In my experience, you cant count on God. You only have yourself. You are allowed to want things, just make sure your want isn’t out of reach. I have learned over the years that as long as you don’t kid yourself about what you can and cant have or can and cant do. You wont get everything you want, but you can have some things. You have to rely on yourself to get those things. No one will give them to you, no one even really cares if you get them or not, God sure as hell doesn’t(or at least for me). Don’t feel bad to want things, that feeling is there to keep you trying. I know its torture going through life never getting what you think makes you happy, seeing people move on to bigger and better things all the while you are still stuck in the same place doing the same thing. It starts off boring, then frustrating, then maddening, then comes the sadness because you wish so hard to have something, something that might make you feel better.

I’ve tried to be realistic about what I can and cant have. The feeling never really goes away and it kind of prolongs the matter when you have people trying to push you in the direction they thing you should go in.

Just take a little time and decide what the realistic outlook is on what you want. Try and get yourself to discern between what you really can possibly have and what you cant.