Being at home became far too painful. It’s an excruciating thing to watch the home life the brought you up for sixteen years, that was your safe place – rot away in front of your very own eyes. And I did what I’m best at – I pushed it away. I didn’t let it defeat me, I refused to let it drag me down.
I would wake at 5 AM just to get some peace from the chaos. I would leave my house for school at 5:30 AM and would walk – along the edge of the cliffs, along the beach for hours on the crisp morning dew air, there’s something comforting about the sound of the ocean – to this day I can’t think of anything more refreshing.
I thrived at school getting A’s and would stay as long as I could at school. Until the teachers would lock up their rooms and I had no choice to leave.
Don’t get me wrong though, I can honestly say at that point 80% of the time I was happy. At this age I was just about the right age to have independence and I took the full advantage of creating a life for myself.
I started getting a social life, well depending on what you consider a social life. And I would go to school with a giant smile and say good morning to everyone I saw. But there was always an overwhelming, dark atmosphere on my back – my depression and my home life, two things I couldn’t pretend weren’t a problem. They were there when I closed my eyes at night, when I walked home in the dark.
Haunting me. And it was terrifying.
3 comments
tl;dr
tl;dr?
strike out on your own. its the only way. don’t mind the troll.