Does anyone ever have the feeling that suicide is just a bad day away?
Sometimes it’ll hit at the weirdest moments, like I’ll be re-edging a knife and once it’s sharp enough to shave hair my mind will skip a beat and suddenly I’m imagining what it would be like to just slice open an artery with it. Not the wrists (too cliche, and I feel it would take too long…plus they can cut the bleeding off at the wrists if they find you in time), like the neck or under the armpit somewhere that’ll bleed quick and can’t be undone. It scares the hell out me… Or I’ll be messing with parachute cord and I’ll work it out in my head that I could hang myself in the shower, give it just enough length so I can do it while sitting down. Just enough pressure to stop the blood to the brain and you pass out, 8 min of that and you’re not coming back.
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I sometimes picture killing myself. I Get a knife out of the drawer and imagine im going to stab myself
Yes I know what you mean I kinda think it’s like Dexter with the whole “dark passenger”thing without all the murder .I’ve done the wrist thing and was very close to succeeding .
How great would that release be, no more pain, torment, or anguish. Just incredible searing pain, followed by the numbing peaceful silence.
I do that too. Whenever I open my utensil drawer and I see that knife staring back at me, I just think, “I could do it right now”, but for some reason I never do.
It’s scary how easy it would be, just a split second. I shave with double edge razors as well and I’ll stop for a second and just stare at it. Just playing the scenario out in my head. There’s so much that’s wrong in my life and with me, it could all end. No more having to drag myself through the day, dreading what will happen next.