Help Me

I have prevented my self from preparing for my death many times but today it feels stronger. I feel like getting up at this very moment and getting what i plan on using to end myself. I feel sad that this night (or shall I say early morning) could be the moment I final do it. Each time I have these thoughts of preparation I always look online for a place to talk to someone just to know someone is there. I have lost so many friends and just want someone to know what I have been feeling and what I plan to do just to know that someone is there for me and cares for me. Now I dont care who it is I just want to talk to someone. I have lost my best friend so I now look to another friend who has been very close for a long time. I feel like telling her that I am suicidal but Im just scared. Should I let her know?…