I’m sorry

Being bisexual is awesome!

I know how you feel. You do know that the pressure they put on you is to do with their own issues, right? They don’t accept you because they don’t accept themselves. They want you to achieve all these things because they would want to achieve all these things – and maybe they haven’t. Or maybe if they have achieved them, they had to achieve them in order to accept themselves.

They will say that they want the best for you, and that’s their justification for wanting you to be these things. It’s probably their genuine internal reasoning. That doesn’t mean it’s not flawed reasoning. As human beings, we tend to feel something, think something, then post-rationalise the thought with another reasoning that has nothing to do with the real reason we came up with the thought. So if they say they want you to be these things because it would be best for you, they might be saying that because deep down they are dealing with their own insecurities and their own inability to accept themselves.

I’m glad you’re different. It would be boring if everyone was the same.

That’s extreme. I would personally disagree with your parents’ parenting style, and many others would too.

Maybe their love is unconditional but their capacity to show it is limited. Do they ever say they don’t love you? Perhaps they continue loving you despite all these ‘threats’ to their belief about who you should be. Perhaps it’s just because they have their own issues that they treat you this way. You already tried to kill yourself and they still love you, right? Maybe it’s not love that’s the issue, it’s you being able to trust them with your emotions.

One day you will be able to do things your own way. Things can seem to drag on forever in these circumstances. Make dreams for yourself – where you will live, what will you do, where you’ll hang out. Those beautiful dreams might help you get through this hard time.

Also – when my brother came out as bi when he was 13 and I was 15, mum sent him to a psychotherapist who told her it might just be exploratory. 9 years later and he’s still bi, surprise surprise. Because of her reaction – sending the signal that being bi is some sort of madness – I didn’t come out until I was 20. I went through depression and being suicidal before I was able to gain the strength to tell my parents. Once I’d done that, and they didn’t send me to therapy (because I was already in therapy!) then I stopped feeling suicidal. Dad was fine with it, but mum still struggles with it. She does love my brother and I anyway, but it clashes with what she was brought up to believe. Her own mother accused her of being gay repeatedly because she had a close female friend, and this left her scarred.

It’s not because of you that they treat you this way. It’s because of their own experiences.