I’m new here.. I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately. I don’t know..nothing seems right. People say that they care, but they don’t show it. Why do people say stuff, which they don’t mean? I’m just 20.. I haven’t started living yet…and end is just so near. :/
I’m afraid…not afraid of dying but afraid of hurting people. My mother keep saying that, I wish you were never born.. I don’t feel anything anymore. I feel numb but most of the time it’s just emptiness.
5 comments
Welcome to the monkey house. That’s what keeps most of use plugging along. Not wanting to hurt people. Isn’t that funny? People seem to be the cause or at least add to the pain of living, but we don’t want to hurt them. Funny in a strange sort of way.
Thanks for writing. Hope you work things out.
People who are not suffering like “we” are, don’t trully care because it’s not them asking for help, it’s others, but when it’s them, oh, then they suffer and complain and ask for atention.
Most people are like, “Oh, that person is suffering. I don’t want that in my life, i’ll just ignore it to be happy”, type of mentality, others simply don’t know what to do.
I have the same problem as yours. I am 18 and autistic and it’s making my life hell. I have little money, no family, no friends, no girl and no one that gives a shit about me. I feel sympathy for you. I guess people like us who lead crappy lives were born because of some accident. Maybe we weren’t suppossed to be born. If there is some kind of being that controls this universe( i am agnostic), I would really like to ask him- why do we have to suffer for no reason? This world doesn’t make a fucking sense. No one is here to help us. No one gives a fuck. If you want to live a happy life, you have to work your ass off to make money. And even then, there is no gurantee that you will live long enough to enjoy spending the money you make. I hope you find a way to live a happy life. Wishing you the best of luck.
Thats a really cruel thing for your mother to say to you. My dad used to say that to me when I was a kid nd it really messed me up for a long time. I felt so unwanted and useless > it wreckd my life
people can be cruel and life is not always easy
I wish you well my friend
The sad reality is that most people who have not been where you are tend to be fakes. They put on a mask to pretend that they care, but as soon as you have your back turned, they mock and judge you behind your back. I hate viewing the world like that, but I know it’s true.
On the bright side, there truly are those out there that care about you. They might not know you very well, they might not get to see you everyday, they might not get to have fun with you, but they really care about you. You, as a person. And it’s those people that make life easier to deal with.
So I guess what I’m saying is even though it feels like no one cares, there really are people who do. I’m sorry if this didn’t help much, but I do hope you find something to hold on to.