I’ve lost count of the years since he’s been gone, but today marks another. Today, October 25, 2014 is my soul mate’s 19 birthday. Every day I think of him and every time I do I ache to hear his voice again. I’ve been doing pretty good with my depression, even got a new boyfriend…but every time this day rolls around…my resolve breaks. I realize everything I’ve done and built is nothing and worthless. Nothing is the same without him and it never will be. I’ve never felt so miserable over someone before for so long…his loss has made me unable to care or love for anyone. They’re not worth it, they’re not as perfect he was. I can’t let go and it’s going to destroy me. I just can’t.
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Do you mind if I ask what happened to your old boyfriend?
He committed suicide
I probably shouldn’t say anything. Honestly, I’m just an old drunk with a depressive disorder….But I feel that I need to.
I’ve loved a few over the last fifteen years, but one in particular has always seemed special. I met her at a gathering of friends. We were alone in a friends bedroom, and she said…Hi!…sitting right next to me. I think I laughed and said hi back, and we started talking. We ended the night as friends, and a week later, was a new years party. We sat up until seven the next morning just talking.
Long story short, she had a boyfriend at the time. Abusive SOB, but she didn’t know how to get away, and I was too young to fight for her the way I should have. She’s away from him now, and married even. Plays in a local band, and every day I think of her. It’s been 8 years. All I could do when she got married was congratulate her, and I meant that.
Your situation is a little different, but the message stays the same. Love him as you can. Live your life to be happy. If they loved you, then they would want that. Don’t give up your own life. That is (in my own mind) a dismissal of their love. They loved you. Iunno if I’m making sense, but I hope I am.
Sometimes someone steals your heart. Maybe you get it back, maybe you don’t…I’m pretty sure I won’t get mine back.
He took my soul when he left and I’m so empty
I’m sorry, I would have no idea what you are going through, and any feelings of sadness or missing him makes complete sense. That’s not something you can easily get over, but you seem like a strong person and you’re handling it well in my opinion.
Hi, I lost my boyfriend because of suicide too. About 2 months ago. I can’t feel anything. Everything is so numb and I miss him so much. My heart aches everytime I think of us and how we are apart now
I am thinking of kill myself to be with him, i miss him so much