recently we’ve broken up, after a long period of time together, through good times and bad. when we’ve met, i was happier. even though we met at the hospital, both dealing with our mental illnesses. i can’t point on the timeline when things got really bad. i’ve grown to drink frequently at some point. i thought it would help me escape my feelings, and, well, it did. but i thought, until recently, that it was just that. well, no.
i think i was seeking attention, love. she told me, since the beginning, she has a problem of showing love. i thought that by doing crazy shit she’d finally show me love. but i was so wrong. i just worried her. ever since she looks at me like i’m hurt, asking me too god-damn many times how i feel, even though i’m not drinking for six months or doing any kind of shit. so i’m part happy about the break up, but also am sad. i just want to love and be loved. and i did love her at times, and i showed it. and sometimes she’d show me her love, and it was great. but i think it’s only partly her fault, since i grew up unloved and lonely, and i just needed someone to fill that hole in me.
2 comments
fuck eh bud? thats tough. I kno that feel. Well, fuck her and drink your sorrows deeper… Cheers to a better tomorrow for ya man. I suggest tapering off the drank and putting together a plan of how to move forward in a healthier way. but its none of my business *kermit
but it’s not really her fault, and i admire her for staying with me after all. the break-up was mutual, that i forgot to mention. either way, i know how to move on, i just don’t know if i want to do that…