Yes Creed.
Still alive folks. worried because I’m struggling not to slide into sadness again. I mean things do feel a bit different now that I’m on meds but I’m starting to think abut death a few times a day instead of one or two. And not always as a joke or an escape.
Started going to church again but it’s weird cuz it’s not the denomination i’m used to but there is a lot of singing and hugs so I’m figuring it out. I’m trying to see if being connected with God or the Universe will make this all feel different.
I constantly have to do lists in my head to keep me going and to keep this game called life going. I’m trying to figure it out.
I’m not sure if not being able to read this forum at work is a blessing or a curse but it’s not helping me focus either. Gotta breathe.
I have to let the past go but i can’t. ugh cramps.
1 comment
HI. I don’t have anything insightful to say. I’m sorry. Death is a comfort, right? When things become unbearable, one can slip into a reverie. How I’d “do it.” 200 multivitamins, a silvery knife, or the quarry about a mile near my house.
It’s interesting that you’re turning to religion. It might help. I know that some people profess religion to be a common cure for all ailments. Maybe that’s true. I haven’t found it yet. I hope so, though. I hope to find a spark that drives people to bellow gospel music in church, waving their arms. Those people look happy. Content. Secure. Maybe I’m on the cold outside of a happy-bubble.
Hey, I’m sorry. Ranting about myself. That’s my selfishness, for sure.
I guess…I could have written your post. Every word.
I’m sorry. Really sorry that life’s feeling so listless and bleak for you. I hope you figure things out……………..