See, after the last girl that seemed crazy about me turned me down and wanted to be friends (and I was stupid enough to believe things would be different this time) I want to know, how do I get a girlfriend? Should I just make my standards so low I can’t possibly get rejected? Just go for people with no self-esteem and don’t actually look like girls to begin with? Is that the key, just have no standards whatsoever? Or should I just say screw it and end my life, because I’m sick of this.
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I wouldn’t say to go out with a girl that looks like a guy just, because it might* be easier. It won’t, because those girls are usually not shallow. They won’t go out with you just based on looks. I have a hard time dating people too and sometimes I get really frustrated, but just because you haven’t found that girl yet doesn’t mean you never will. Standards are good, but basing them just on looks is a little different. You have to feel attracted to them yes, but on the inside too. I dated a girl that was really pretty, but what made her ugly to me was her personality. You’ll find her, you just have to be a little patient. If you really want to date someone, try going on a dating website. It’s a lot easier to find a match.
(:
I can’t tell you how much I identify w your post. I’m in the same boat, but female. This reply will probably be useless to you, bc I honestly have no advice on how to change your situation, & I too often think of ending it all for the same reason. I’m in no way diminishing your feelings, I guess I’m just letting you know that while you’re single, you’re not alone…I guess that means I’m really not either…
I just feel, my friends joke about my shitty love life, but they don’t know that they’re descriptions are accurate. This girl, I felt like she actually loved me, the way we interacted…of course she says she only saw me as a friend. The only silver lining is that she says it’s because of her parents and that she’s not allowed to date. I don’t get it, though, her self-esteem is as bad as mine, ARGH, IT’S NOT FAIR!!!
🙁 Maybe she does love you & she’s telling you the truth. I’m guessing you’re fairly young bc her parents say she can’t date. Maybe being friends for now is the only option bc of her parents. & you’re right, it’s totally not fair how some people get to fall in love & others don’t. I wish I had some magic words for you to make it easier… All I can say is that if you’re as crazy about her a you say you are, she’s probably worth the wait.
My best friend says I should wait, and we actually argued over whether I should or just abandon her and go after someone else.
Well, that’s for you to decide, not your friend, but take his/her reasoning into account, outsiders see things differently than we do. Does this someone else make you feel the way girl #1 does? Or is she just someone to be w so you don’t have to be alone? Just be sure to be fair to yourself, don’t settle…if you do, chances are you’ll still feel alone in the relationship.
She reminds me of the one girl I’ve ever actually loved.
Maybe weigh out the pros & cons of going for girl #1 & girl #2 (I’m a big fan of pro & con lists tho). If that’s not your thing, you could always go w your gut…what is it telling you to do? Deep down, you know what you really want to do, you just need to make those feelings surface.
The word ‘standard’ is completely wrong in this context. You either love a person or you don’t. It’s not like you would rate every girl you meet by some arbitrary standard and then date whoever has the best rating. Love doesn’t work that way. I’d go even further and say that most people’s standards (if they have any) are superficial at best and concern no character traits which are actually necessary for a trusted relationship.
Don’t say you have to lower your standards to include even the ‘worst kinda’ girls as if those girls were less worthy of a great partner than anyone else. Just as a sidenote: Girls regarded as “low standard” by what most people think actually are more loving and caring partners most of the time. It’s very similar to the difference between people who have experienced depression and those who haven’t.
That’s the problem with schools: They teach young kids standards and values which are complete nonsense and they aren’t able yet to realize this. It’s not even the teachers fault but the way in which children interact.
Anyways, good luck with finding a girlfriend. And even if you don’t fully get what I wrote I still hope you realize its importance in the next years.
I always knew I liked you. 😛
So you don’t rate girls on a scale of 1-10 to determine which ones are compatible? People here certainly have some unconventional ideas.
Yea this happens to me too. The girl who I know was the love of my life told me “our energies don’t match” but that I’m a really nice guy and she likes me as a friend. So stereotypical. I was too nice, I gave her everything, gifts galore, did everything she wanted. Nothing I could do to win her heart. I should have been cold and ignored her and starved her of attention, then she would have loved me. But I don’t have it in me. So I’ll never get a girl I want. Anyway, if you can muster up the balls then try being a jerk to girls you like – they’ll love you then. Observe.
Ouch, don’t let one girl ruin it for the rest of us! 🙁