Not sure how to make since of anything.. Between hearing seeing and feeling things I’m unsure are real or not or the strange thoughts and being afraid of it all.. The other day it was pouring rain and the wind shield wipers were on high the water quickly beading and dripping down again all I could see was blood… I wished for it and hoped for it … I’m so tired of holding this feeling in.. Some ppl say it’s all a lie some just think I’m crazy but why? Why is that what I thought of ? Because of the long addiction I had/have with self harm? Or having all these thoughts bottled in and having no release and thinking about self harm and how much I miss it’s comfort… Knowing that it always the one thing I know will be there to calm me and will have no judgments.. I can’t make since of anything.. Everything seems so blurry… I feel sick.. Mind spinning too fast.. Please let me out!!
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3 comments
Your not happy.. why is that? Crappy job? Past drug use? Everyone is different.. the only way to get past this is to fill that void in your life with what u need that causes this pain.. what is it?
Because someone hurt her in her past. Because she relives it every time she closes her eyes. Sees him. Hears him. Smells him. Because she knows he is walking around freely even though he caused her such agony.
I know you mean well but her pain isn’t some void that can just be filled. It is a rotten cancer that has destroyed her life.
My apologies for intruding Darkest. You relive it everyday. I thought I’d spare you having to live it once more while typing the words. I’m sorry if I overstepped or was inaccurate in any way.
Thank you copelessness