The demons..

Question: If no one is here to save me from the demons, and supposedly I can’t rely on others am I all alone?

I have fought the monster in my head called depression for so long. I am sorry that people have tried to save me and that it wasn’t enough. I am trying to restrain myself from the pills that sit next to me on the table. All of those medications that tried to make me better, THEY DID NOT WORK. The depression has worsened, I fake a smile and try to be anyone but the fucked up, messed up, person I am. I seem to never to do whats right, I am always doing the “wrong thing” and people frown upon me. What is wrong with me? I have a lot of love to give underneath all the hurt that sits inside me. I am trying to keep my head above water, I am done trying to keep going. The fact of  the matter is I don’t care anymore. I have given up on what is right. I am done trying to ask for help and then not be listened to. If I am such a bother– I will end it today. I will end it on my terms. Trying to please others? I am done thinking that I need to make others happy before myself. I have tried and tried but it never seems to be enough for anyone. I am sorry that I have let you all down. I have tried and tried to be someone I am not, I am breaking at the seams.

Should I be let go? Should I be forgotten?