My name is Sandra, i’m 17 years old. I’m a daugther, a sister, a granddaugther, a niece, a cousin. I love animals, rain and reading. I don’t have any true friends. I’m introverted, i’m silent, i don’t like talking, i’m always sick, i feel very weak, i love being alone, i hate crying, i have lost a lot of people that are important to me, i have never fully enjoyed life, i’m not a loving person and i don’t even understand what love is, i’m insecure, i’m a really anxious person, i’m quite self destructive, i always try to give people hope, though i lost it myself, i love it when people say ‘thank you’ and they mean it, i can spend months home without going out at all and i love it, I have never told anyone how i really feel, i’ve always thought that i was not good enough, i believe we are destined to meet that one person that will change our lifes (even if we still haven’t found it), i would spend the rest of my life with that one person (i’ve already found it) and i know i probably won’t be able to. It makes me want to cry…
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Hi Sandra, anyone who loves animals is ok in my book 🙂
I always hate to see people so young (young = half my age or less) who are suffering this bad. Were you always so withdrawn, or did something happen to make you this way? Not that there’s anything wrong with being withdrawn… but generally when people don’t interact with others it leaves them vulnerable to those “dark times” because nobody’s there to pull you out.
Do you plan on going to college/uni after you graduate? The reason I ask is because a LOT of things change when you move out on your own. My teen years were miserable, I don’t think I had a single date. But then I moved out and got to start life all over again. Nobody knew what a nerd I was so I fooled them all and had some fun for a few years with lots of new friends …until my misery caught up with me and I ended up alone again.
Well that was depressing haha. I guess my point is that you’re at an age where you could be starting a new chapter in life. So even though you’ve had a lousy start, you can always pretend you didn’t. Start over again and maybe find that special person out there waiting for you 🙂
Animals are life :3
Well i’ve never been super happy but i guess it all started when my parents got divorced, it was not a normal divorce, my parents are both crazy, like really, i’m not even kidding, they’re fucking crazy. And i’ve never had much self steem or anything so when some people started saying bad stuff to me i believed it (some of that people were my family), and yeah some more things that happened through the years, my mother being a *****, my father being even more crazy, me remaining silent…I’ve tried a lot of times to ,you know, just let it all out but i can’t, it’s not my thing, so now i’m pretty fucked up.
Yes, i do. I may study Medicine or something related to health, but i’m not very motivated to go or do anything, i don’t even know if that’s what i want, i guess i’m just doing what i’m supposed to do. That’s what i try to think…a new start…new people, but i’m so shy and introvert that i know i wouldn’t talk to anyone, they’d have to come to talk to me and even if they did i wouldn’t talk much…and nobody likes people who don’t talk.
I’m sorry to hear that 🙁 but at least you have all of us in here 🙂
Thanks for your comment you cheered me up 🙂
Something that had me scratching my head in your post is that you say that you don’t even know what love is, but that you would spend the rest of your life with somebody else you already found, if you could. Isn’t that, by definition, love?
You also have to keep in mind that being an introverted… well, is hard. You can always make it in the world by balancing it out tho. I’m a really introverted person and have always been (with bad health too), but eventually you can adapt to it if you try it/give it enough time. At your age you still have lots and lots of time to turn things around (if you want to). If the world was populated by only extroverted people i’m guessing they would have already killed themselves out of desperation, lol.
Oh, and animals, rain and books rock. That extremoduro song you posted a while ago is pretty good too.
What i feel for this person is not necessarily love. I meant that i don’t understand love, it’s a weird thing to me, i don’t know how to explain it (sorry i’m spanish and i sometimes mess up haha)
The thing is that i don’t think i want to change it, i guess i’ve settled in and it’s easier just staying like this. It feels so wrong to me to try to get better…i don’t try anymore.
Yeah, Extremoduro is my favorite Spanish band, it’s cool you liked it, not many people do 🙂