Hey (goodbye).
I’m kinda messed up right now, I’m feeling pretty bad though I could probably stop feeling this way; I just don’t want to. I’m not sure why but I kind of enjoy feeling sad, I guess in the same way that I like self-harm; maybe it’s the same thing. This probably isn’t healthy but I’m not, so it might be alright. I guess I’m just fucked, I hate myself and I think I might kill myself tomorrow not that it matters.
I’ll go to the student services room at school, sign off there, catch the train home and hang myself.
I’m sure it will fuck up a lot of other people’s lives but I can’t take this, I just don’t see the point in living, I never have.
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I am sorry this is happening to you. We suffer anguish everyday but remember that you are not alone.
Thank you, I will always remember that and all the kind words everyone has given me. I don’t think I’ll make it, but I guess we’ll see tomorrow.
Hi alonelybird. I just want you to know that many of us have felt this same pain as you have, you are not alone in your thoughts.
I have a few questions.
Do you sleep at all? And I mean do you have good sleep? Also, is your life feeling too much because something is overwhelming you? Or are you just feeling sorrow for no reason.
As for enjoying your pain, this is normal. Self harm is a form of relief, but remember that it is only a temporary one, your scars are not.
Try and look forward to the better things in life. If you can’t see a future ahead of you, try and see somebody you love without you in their life. Are they happy you are gone?
You do matter, you are important.
Ash x
Thank you. No, I don’t really have very good sleep, I get about 3-6 hours of sleep each night. I think I am feeling sorrow for no reason, I’m not sure, I’m very lonely. I don’t really love anyone except my family (but only a bit), I kinda love some of my friends but that’s it and they would probably all be sad if I died but I would be sadder if I lived.
I don’t see the point in living either. Not anymore. I feel like I was put here as some kind of cruel joke. life is hard. I am sick of fighting to stay alive when I just want it to be over.
I know the exact feeling, life is bills hit.
We feel sad and kind of like it that we do because we have no other way of recognizing the pain and differences in our lives that are so massive compared to everyone else. Me feeling sad is basically the same thing as knowing I’m still sane and aware of my own sufferings. If I ignored what I suffer from and just pretend it doesn’t exist, I’d be the crazy one.
Hope you find that peace somehow
Thank you.
Most people probably wouldn’t understand that but I’m glad you do, it’s like self-harm or suicide. No one understands.
I’m kind of like you. I kind of enjoy being sad. I’m just so used to it. Don’t die. You know, I always tell people that suicide is not right and that it is not bad to talk about it and I just feel like a hypocrite at times. I think about suicide. A LOT. I know it’s not the best thing in the world but I think about it either way. A friend of mine once told me that whenever he wants to kill himself he just remembers that there are other people that have it worse than him and that they’re still around. What I’m saying is don’t quit. Be a winner for now because in the end we’re all losers. We all die.
Yeah, though I’m probably a lot younger than you (I’m 13). But what’s it matter then if we just lose in the end? And don’t say to enjoy the time in between because I don’t enjoy it.
before you go, make your peace with God. Just in case. if you do go, i want you to know that i will remember you and this post, so in a way, you will still be alive. im sorry, i dont want you to go. suffer with me for a little while, we can complain to each other?
I’m not religious, though I can see where you’re coming from. Thank you for remembering me but I’m better left forgotten. I’ve never really complained to anyone or talked about any of my problems to anyone because no one understands.
The support in theese comments to try to get you to stay one more day one more week one more month/ year.. Is amazing. People have such good hearts do u realize were all on this site becuz we too have felt the way you do? yet we all want to help the people who are in this moment to get out of jt.. So many great people on here no one on here deserves to end there life. You all deserve to be here. We need people in this world like the ones on here like YOU! I’m here for u just like everyone else in theese comments want to be. Not Bcuz we have too we all are dealing with problems but Bcuz WE WANT TOO. We care. YOU MATTER! <3 I too will remember you, if something were to happen. I hope you find peace with knowing u do matter especially here. . Whatever choice u decide to make, remember us we will remember you.
Yes, I have realised that. Thank you for trying. That’s all opinions though, that I matter, that i don’t deserve this and whatnot but in my opinion i do. I do deserve this. I will remember all of you, I’ll mention you all in my note.
If you overcome something, you can use that strength to help others.
Yeah that’s what I try to do, with experience comes knowledge and with knowledge comes….. stuff? I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but thank you everyone for replying it means a lot. Thank you.
Someone loves you.. and you are strong! You can survive .. be a survivor .. I’m here for you and so is everyone else.. what ever your problems are they will probably fade away.. you WILL be happy one day again .. 🙂 love you, -M.R.
Maybe someone does love me, either way I don’t really Care too much and i wouldn’t really be able to love them back. Yes I could be a survivor but I won’t be. Thank you for caring though.
Can u tell me why you would ever feel that u deserve that? Why would you not matter.. You do. Just cause I can’t prove it in person Bcuz I don’t know u personally doesn’t mean u don’t. You do I’m sure someone u know loves you. Through any mistake they still do. Bcuz you matter your human we all make mistakes doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to be here or to be loved. I’m going to pray for you Bcuz I care.. Wishing you could let someone in a little more to help u through this but I understand you may not be up for this anymore. If u are at the slightest you know who u can talk to..
I feel that I deserve that because of the way people have treated me in the past and thank you for your kind words but I’m still gonna kill myself on Friday.
I am a suicide survivor myself, and trust me, its not worth it. You are so worthy of life, and you are here for a reason. I know it isn’t easy to get better, to feel better, but if you keep pushing for better, you will get it. I just hope that you reach out..
Don’t let them win. People have treated me badly but that just shows who they are..It’s easier sad than done to get rid what ur mind has already decided. . But just remember, you deserve to win, not them. You can beat this. It’s okay to not know what you will be as you grow, it’s okay if you do things on ur own alone, when u get to goals you’ll be proud and you will appreciate and look back at the fact u did it with no one around u to be there for you. Not only that but u don’t have to be completely alone if you stay I will be here, you can talk to me. I’m giving u advice Bcuz I know where ur coming from.. I don’t want to make this about me but I will tell u I am alone in life my dad never met him, my mom kept me around her abusive lifestyle for about 13 yrs then abandoned me. I bounce from home to home every few months, Bcuz my family or friends I’ve lived with too are in this circle of mess, just like my mom, dad or worse. I never get to see my siblings (my one reason for feeling I should be here) I have no friends, no bf, basically I have none. I’m staying as sane as I can Bcuz, I know despite whatever I’ve been put through I am one of those people who deserve to be here just like yourself. Is it hard to do what I’m doing without any support ? Yes, that’s why I’m commenting I want to give u a lil more of what I don’t have. I care. Things will get better, don’t give up. You’ve been so strong for so long to just give it all up now. <3