Dear God,
I know everyone has hard times in their life. I know people all go through different times, extents, and ways of bad. But I’m wondering why mine seems to be the worst case scenario on all accounts. I’m wondering why I can remember more bad times than good. I know there will be bad times. But there has to be good times too. I’m wondering why you took my mom away. Things seem just have gotten a different type of bad now that she’s gone. My step dad is now drinking himself to death and picking up all my moms old habits. Why did you do that? He was fine before she died. Supportive, mature, strong. Now he’s unreliable, Child like, and brittle. I’ve asked him repeatedly to stop drinking but it’s useless. He continues and lashes out randomly. He can’t even answer the question ” Are you going to choose alcohol over your family”. Not only does it hurt me to see him change, but it makes me resent my mother. She was driving drunk hit a pole and had a stroke. Why are both of my parents choosing alcohol over their family? Are we not good enough? Am I not good enough? If I have done something wrong please just target me. Not my entire family just to watch them fall apart. Hold on are you even real? Is this just me speaking to my subconscious mind? If so tell me that I’m wasting my time. And if you’re real then show me. Allow me to feel something other than pain please. For once in my life can you give me joy. Can something good please happen to me God. Please. I’m desperate and my heart cannot take anymore. So if you are real, I am calling you, asking for your spirit, your guidance, and strength to Ease my body of sorrow. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
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4 comments
You have done nothing wrong. Some people are by themselves irresponsible. You are good. I don’t believe there is god. God can be an alien(I had watched that in some ancient alien documentary).
I also have my more than 90 percent of my spent life bad and miserable. You are not alone. Sometime maybe believing in god helps. I am not sure. Welcome to sp. I can listen and feel your broken hearted prayer
Take a look at the world around you – it’s obvious that, if there even were a God, he’d left this place a long time ago. Although I myself am guilty of prayer. I’d often ask Michael for guidance and protection, as many of my former colleagues did. The devil was in front of me, with a league of avenging angels behind me and no end in sight.
We had faith in ourselves – I have faith in myself. Perhaps you should do the same.
I felt the honesty. The good book says the prayer of a broken and contrite heart is never ignored. I have yet to see the reality of that myself but I’m fuckin’ holding on. Keep the faith, my friend.
God has not forsaken you nor will he. He will never put more on us than we can bear..it may feel like we can’t bear it but will find a way..your very strong from what I can tell and that’s gonna help you in the long run. When it feels like God isn’t there he is..just being observant and watching what you can do and handle. I believe things will straighten themselves out in your life..you just have to wait out the storm. I’m not trying to spew a gospel to everyone but I do want you to remember God is there. Stay strong