I don’t know anymore

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I’m “too needy” and “gloomy all the time”. I’m sorry for wanting to spend more than 4 hours a week with you. I’m sorry for getting jelous and depressed when you tell me that you’re hanging out with your friends, and it turns out one of them is a some pretty girl. How did I find this out, because you fucking came to say hi to me at work while you two were alone. I’m sorry that I got upset when I found out you were giving my mega slut “friend” car rides to school even though you couldn’t pick me up from my house, which is basically the same distance. Sorry for being angry and depressed when said mega slut “friend” invites herself to your house when you’re home alone. You’re telling me to not be depressed? I was already depressed to begin with, you thought all this shit would somehow better the situation? We were having problems and you did that. I didn’t leave because I loved you and I gave you the benefit of the doubt. And now, after all that shit, it’s somehow my fault you’re leaving? I would laugh if it wasn’t so brain numbing. I wish I could hate you, but I dont. I know I helped cause it. You probably couldn’t deal with my self hate and bitterness anymore. If someone who loves me could do this, then what am I to look forward to