This is my first actual post on this site so i don’t wanna make it super long. I don’t even know where to start to be honest. Okay, day after day i realize how much i’m not. i barely even go outside anymore sorry i mean i never go outside anymore only when i need too i guess because i feel like there’s no reason for me to even be out there only when i feel like walking my dogs, i usually go out btw i’m 18 i know i shoudn’t feel like this.
I have really bad social anxiety and a bunch of other stuff. my anxiety gets to me soo bad in public because people look at me weird and laugh like i’ve had people just stare at me in disgust. Sometimes i don’t even care, but alot of the times it gets to me. that is the only reason why i hate being me because of the way i look, it sucks really bad i’ve tried to fix my the way i look but nothing works.
Sometimes i just feel hopless and waay too many things go through my mind of wishing i was dead i just don’t know anymore if i can make it through. There is so much i’m not writing because. I know it would be waay to long to read. :p but i really feel crappy at the moment.
5 comments
I’m sorry you’re feeling really bad. I had really severe social anxiety at your age. It isn’t really an age issue. Anyone can feel like that.
Do you know people are looking at you weird? Do you look distinctive?
Has the anxiety got worse over time? It can be cured, so try not to feel hopeless. 🙂
Yea it gets pretty bad depending on how i feel ughh it suckks. Yea i don’t blend in like most people i seriously don’t feel like i’m that weird looking but i guess i am which realllly sucks i don’t have the most symetrical face. 🙁 i really feel like i’m a good person in every sense of the word but i hate the way i look.
I think things like CBT and calming techniques can be helpful. Have you tried anything like that?
There is a cartoon. I wish I could find it. First panel: Three kids all saying, “I wish I could fit in!” Second panel: Same kids but now they are adults, saying, “I wish I was special!”
Embrace your weirdness. Get therapy and drugs for social anxiety. Get out and enjoy life. People really will think you are something cool if you don’t toe the line like the rest of the world and you do it with style. And the older you get, the better it will get. One day someone will give you a million dollars for being “unique.” Unfortunately, the next day you will be struck by a meteor and die. Sorry, I don’t make these rules.
I have social anxiety too and always had trouble with that people are looking at me thing. I doubt that anybody is thinking that your face isn’t symmetrical enough. I’m 42 now and I still have a strong feeling that people look at me when I am walking or cycling. I guess that everybody just looks at each other to check the person isn’t a threat. Like it must be a primal instinct. I find that rationalising really helps. It is a bit tiring to have to mentally rationalise that people aren’t necessarily thinking weird or terrible things about me but at least I can get the things done that I need to do outside the house. Often I think that people think I am homeless. Once I was just sitting at a train station and some hipster came and gave me a muffin. I said no thanks and he said I shouldn’t be ungrateful and that I might need it later. I can laugh about it now but at the time it was terrible. Once someone gave my husband some loose change and he was just waiting for me outside the shop, haha. I have no idea what goes through people’s minds and it doesn’t really matter. Let them think I am a homeless bag lady, it makes no odds to me.