Once upon a time, there was an Impossible Girl who didn’t much think any sort of happiness was possible for herself. She went looking for ways to end her misery, and, in the process, she found the Suicide Project. She lurked a little, and then she started talking, started posting. She began to formulate a plan, an idea that when the eyes on her finally looked away, she would step out of this world and the pain she’d felt for too long.
One day, after the plan had failed, a new comment showed up on one of her posts. And the unexpected happened: she smiled. She smiled at the comment, she smiled at the cleverness of the person’s user name, she just … smiled. And she kept smiling whenever she saw that person comment. And she felt drawn to them, although she was afraid to reach out. After all, who would want someone so broken?
And then he reached out when things were darkest for her. And they emailed back and forth some. And then some more. And they realized the connection was in two directions. And suddenly the Impossible Girl was not so impossible.
As I finish typing this, Copelessness is standing behind me reading my words over my shoulder. I could not ask for a more amazing person in my life, and I will spend the rest of it grateful that he chose me. An Imp and Cope. Who knew?
31 comments
Wow thats beautiful. It made me smile. Im glad you found happiness
Awww, you guys got together IRL? I’ve seen you both on SP since you first arrived, that’s so adorable, I’m glad it’s working out for you. 🙂
“Happily Ever After” is a double suicide?
Who doesn’t love a happy ending?
Nah, j/k. 🙂
Feliz Navidad.
That’s awesome. And sort of explains cope’s disappearance, heh. Wish you both the best, and… well, he used to say the same you do, so i guess you’re a pretty good match, lol.
I’m not disappeared. I’ve just been emailing a certain someone a lot. I still check the site and make comments once in a while.
Maybe disappearance was a strong word to describe it, hehe, and well, the hour difference does play tricks on me, so i haven’t seen posts from your for a while. Anyways, glad that things are going good for you 🙂
THanks for sharing your story. I am glad you made such an awesome connection through this site.
Double username irony!
Yes, we’ll have to modify that to cope_girl and impossiblelessness I suppose.
On the other hand… 😛 Excuse me while I go throw a cat at him.
I knew I should have gotten the escape claws haha. 😛
That is so awesome! Wishing you both the very best.
Yep.
You meet quality people on suicide sites. Connections formed here are doomed/destined to last a lifetime.
Ha. Sarcasm off.
You DO meet interesting people on suicide sites who you’d never encounter otherwise.
And anytime you meet someone you can’t know how long your connection will last, so that part isn’t exclusive to these kind of communities.
You also meet people who are certifiably insane. Bonafide nutcases.
It happens.
People who seem “normal” go Norman Bates on you in the shower. Oh well. Welcome to internet friendships.
Isn’t that amazing? I never thought that I would find such a helpful and supportive community like I have here. We are all so open and understanding with each other… without having to judge one another based on the suicidal feelings we have. We are almost… unconditionally present (and loving?) with others. I’m mind-blown right now.
@Sam Yes, we’re all a little more crazy than the average person so usually we recognize that and have compassion for others.
(You know, as long as they don’t try to screw us over.)
…y’all owe it to each other to make it a coordinated effort from here on out. None of this “I point, you shoot” shit — you take that stand together. If one of you begins to succumb to the darkness again; enlighten their soul. If one of you gets bogged down from not only life but the usual relationship stuff; distribute the weight. Transparency, communication, and above all else, commitment not only to yourselves, but each other, will see you both through. Maybe then there will be at least one successful SP relationship which lasted longer than a train ride into town.
That being said: I sincerely wish y’all the best going for’d. You have a chance here to make something worthwhile out of this, and I’m certain you will.
All that is very much the case, Shep. We both support one another and have become stronger and closer as time has gone on because of it. We both find ways to make each other smile and laugh. We both bring light and hope to each other’s lives in a way we’ve never really had. Something drew us together to show us a world better than our separate worlds that led us here, and I am truly glad we found each other.
I wonder how many long term romantic relationships have been formed here. I know of a few but only a couple that seem to have lasted as long as a year. I am curious if any users from here have married one another. There have been days when sp seems more like a dating site than a suicide one lol
It certainly isn’t the basis for the site, and I wouldn’t recommend that it become more of a common occurrence lest people get hurt, but it goes to show that even when life is at its darkest, sometimes you cross paths with someone who you both understand on a deeper level than you’ve ever known. Sometimes you find someone and you each break down every barrier, you each see deep into the other like you’ve known them for years. sometimes you find that you have things in common, but that the things that are different make you whole. Sometimes you find someone who cares as much as you care, and does so unconditionally. Both she and I have waited 34yrs to find a person like the other, and didn’t think anyone like that could exist. We thought that were both impossible, that there wasn’t a way for either of us to cope, but we found each other. We found hope. We found a dawn to the darkness – a night owl and his morning dove…and tomorrow never looked so bright.
I have to, of course, agree with that first sentence. If someone had told me this is where I would meet the person who balances me, who just … meshes with me so perfectly, I would have said they were, well, crazy. I’m not as eloquent as he is, but there is nothing he said that doesn’t fit completely for how I feel as well.
Aww. Well done, that is great 🙂
How sweet. 🙂 Good for you guys. How long was it ’til you met?
Well, there were posts on SP. I first commented on one of her posts January 2015. For some reason, I’d always been drawn to her as she was me, and I eventually reached out to her and we became friends. There were a couple months of emails (well over 200 of them, and we write small books to each other, it seems). We were both trying to get over other people, but found that the other was exactly what we each wanted and needed, that that connection wasn’t something we should deny or doubt, and instead embrace it.
I think it’s great that you managed to meet in RL. I talked about that with one SPer (for three years) but it never happened for us. I’d love to know how many people have met someone from this site.
This is AWESOME!!! Congratulations! 😀
We each have good days and bad. We know that finding each other won’t fix everything, but we are there for each other to give each other strength when we can’t find it ourselves. Light when we can’t see. Hope when we feel lost. We both didn’t want to believe it at first, and sometimes it feels like something neither of us feel we deserve, but we are glad…and happiness looks so good on her. 🙂
IMO it’s never a bad idea to persue love. Even if a relationship only lasts a short time it is worth it if both people can resist being total assholes when things end.
Not at all suggesting that what you two have won’t last a million years!
If you two decide to have a kid, please don’t name the baby Suicideproject McGillicuddy Jones. Kids named McGillicuddy get horribly teased.
Quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have read as of late. It brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes, and this is what is so very important to my heart at least, I meet someone that I just crave and consume like a New Years Eve feast. A feast of the heart. I am so glad each of you found a feast together. Thank you for making my morning.
I really need Rocketman back. He has the right touch to write theme song for the Suicidal Singles Dating Project.
Suicidal Singles…
Gives you loving tingles…
A romantic night in bed…
The next day you’ll be dead…
Bow wow chicka bow wow…
Tag line: Your next love will be your last.
I am by no means implying that imcopepossiblelessgirlness are going to do anything suicidal, etc.