It’s been a very long time since I’ve found myself in such a dark place. My husband of 6 years has betrayed me. When I became aware of this, we talked. As broken as I was, I tried to be level-headed as well as sympathetic to what he was going through that would lead him to do what he did.
The next two days, though difficult beyond words, he did exactly what I needed from him; we communicated, at length. He took responsibility for his actions, and we continued to talk. But then, he suddenly changed his tune. He became cruel. Threatening to hide even more things from me, insinuating that he was making plans to be with someone again. I don’t understand. I feel lost. I can’t eat, I haven’t eaten in days. I can’t stop trembling. I’m so confused, broken, and angry. I went to bed last night hoping I just didn’t wake up. But, here I am. Alive. Though really, I just want to disappear.
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7 comments
Well, for starters, he isn’t good for you.
All that’s going to happen here is he is going to get worse and worse. He’s gonna make you feel worse and worse until you can’t take it anymore.
You need to take control of this situation, and you need to leave him. I’m sorry but it needs to happen.
He is just going to keep tearing you down; your relationship isn’t healthy anymore.
You need to make it clear to him that you are done with his abuse.
Yeah if I were you I would leave the guy. If he is doing this to you and making you feel this way and also planning on doing it again then that means he is obviously not interested in being with you in the right way. Sorry you feel the way you do. I feel like disappearing sometimes too.
My parents have been married for almost 20 years. They are going through a similar situation. They fight a lot and it really makes me angry. I see my mother crying, heartbroken and hurt almost always. I want them to end it, but then again, thinking of my parents being divorced makes me more suicidal. But seeing them both hurting each other the way they do hurts.
Do what you think is best for you.
Hi Monster. Thank you for your response.
I know you may be right, but I hope you’re wrong. We’ve had a great marriage up until now. Perfect? Of course not. But darn close. This is the first time anything like this has happened, and I don’t want to just run away. Maybe the end result is that the relationship comes to an end. I don’t know that answer yet. But I do agree that I need to take control of the situation. What he’s done is unacceptable. And the disrespect (also new behavior) is equally unacceptable.
Well think of it this way.
He’s been having affairs, he’s threatening to have more, and now you feel miserable. I just think that you should be prepared for a divorce. It may come to that point sooner than you think.
If neither of you are happy, then you shouldn’t be together. I don’t know why he would do that to you, but my sister is going through something similar. They had been married two years and he started out as such a sweet guy then he met someone else and hid it from my sister and completely did a 180 spin and they can’t talk to each other without fighting now. I hate to see it happen, but they are going through a divorce and it’s honestly what’s best for both of them. She needs someone who will be non-toxic and he needs someone who is cold and dead inside just like him.
Though I don’t really know either of you, if it’s what you want and you think it’s just a “phase” or something he’s going through and he’ll come back, I say work for what you want. But if this looks like who he is now, I say it’s time to throw in the towel and move on.
I think you are wearing beautiful rose colored glasses.