hey.
so, I’ve been married a year and a half. Everything seemed fine. These past couple months my husband has been telling me that I’m fucking useless, I dont care about his house, he married me because i was desperate, I need to lose some weight, I should only use only room in the house, we shouldn’t have gotten married, he jokes about leaving and cheating on me. He’s called me stupid multiple times. I’m tired of walking on egg shells because I don’t know what will set him off. I’m tired of going to sleep crying every night because of the worthlessness I feel.
if this isn’t bad enough I have a mother who constantly puts me down. Weight, job, intellect… Anything she can.
I have a sibling that does the same thing as my mother.
am tired of being out down left and right.
I feel like things would just be better if I wasn’t here.
I am tired of going to bed puffy eyed and waking up feeling like nothing is ever good enough. I dont want to be here anymore. These feelings are exhausting and I’m tired of not being happy.
if it weren’t for the fear of leaving my child, I would have been gone a long time ago. I dont know how long this fear will save me though. Is the love of one enough?
10 comments
That’s something you can only answer, but i guess your answer is yes, since you’re still here. It’s understandable that you feel tired and not wanting to be here anymore, but quite honestly things wouldn’t be better if you weren’t there, things would be better if the people that are around you treated you like you deserve.
I don’t know what you situation really is, but if you do worry about your house and your kid, your husband is in the wrong, not you. And even if you didn’t worry about the house, he shouldn’t joke like that, because he’s clearly harming you. I can’t actually give you a solution, other than trying to pledge with him and making him see that he’s really hurting you (if you haven’t already). If he doesn’t understand, doesn’t care, or both… well, at least you tried, and you can better evaluate what else you can do in the future.
Again, i’m sorry that i can’t be of more help, but you’re not in the wrong there, and you don’t deserve being treated that way. I do hope your situation improves, or that at least you can find a way of dealing with it.
Sorry, your husband doesn’t sound like a good person. Have you told him how you feel? And does he ignore / continue to put you down? If a deep conversation won’t work, maybe try marriage counseling, and at the last, you might want to consider the D word. Only you know what you want to choose to do, but honestly, I’ve had people put me down my entire life, family, bf’s, and for me, it’s just been better for me mentally to just get away from them. The longer you stay with the mental abuse, the more damaging it is to your mind and sanity. It’s taken me years (ok, more like 2 decades) and I’m still not fully better, but I do see now how they made me feel like I’m not worthy, even though I kept resisting those things they all said.
Anyway, life isn’t easy. I hope you can figure it out with your husband and sister and mother. Or at least somehow make it a little less bad.
If your afraid of leaving your child take him or her and leave
Your husband probaly doesn’t deserve you and juSt married you to trick you
Your mom and sibling seem like as shoes
What I’m trying to say is raise enough money on your own then find a better life
Your husband sounds like a piece of shit
so does your mother and sibling…
Yeah, that’s what I wanted to say. I tried to say it in a nice way but that pretty much summed it up. I do see how hard it could be for her though. If no husband and no family, you basically gonna be own your own with a kid. Not impossible, just gonna be hard.
To be honest you shouldn’t just have a husband that does this to you, it takes the whole point of being married away. I think it’s kinda obvious that you should leave him, why in the world would you stay, stick up for yourself, if you won’t why would things ever get better? If you want to do something don’t just wait, go ahead and do it.
If your stuck, just think, there must be some way out of it, you just need to be clever, think about how things work and find your way out of it, there must be some way, there must be something you can do, it would be impossible if there was nothing you could do. Just like your trying to solve a murder, nobody can commit a perfect murder so there must be some way to solve it, right?
I know this probably didn’t help, none of it probably makes sense to you and to be honest there’s no way I could totally understand the situation your because I’m only 15 and have experienced none of it before.
Leave and take your child with you. Your husband is an abusive POS and it isn’t going to get any better. BTDT and it only leads to sleeping with a knife under your pillow and years of therapy.
Please please please don’t continue to live in that environment, if not for you for your child. I speak as an adult raised in an abusive home where I spent my entire teenage years walking on eggshells around my father–unsure what would cause him for go over the edge. Was I afraid of him beating me? Yes… that and more. I know you know that the environment that you’re in isn’t healthy. I don’t judge just to be clear. I don’t know where you are but there is help available. There are women’s shelters that can help. Depending on circumstances they can even coordinate your removal.
I don’t doubt that it is tough. The longer you stay the harder it can become to leave as the situation can wear you down.
I have told him multiple times how his words hurt. He seems to find ways to justify what he said. Like I deserved those words.
I want to thank you all for your words of support. I’m used to hearing people tell me its my own fault. Thank you again.