Trying something new

I’ve been writing like a kind of journal about how i feel and how its this pain killing me inside, and how hard is to hate yourself and have to deal with it just because you were born that way, and how difficult is to struggle waking up every morning when yesterday night you fell asleep crying and overthinking about how stupid and ugly and how much you wanna die, but there you are living again even when you haven’t ask for it, people judge because the way i feel, i didn’t ask for pain, who would actually think that i asked to hate myself and wanting to die, its not my fault but they’re blaming me for it, as always its my fault, im always wrong, no matter what i say or think im always losing, no matter how hard i try it never matters… so im just gonna finish my journal the day that i’ve decided to kill myself and imma give it to someone else, someone that i know that would probably care and read it, because is pretty long so it would take a while to read all of it.