Funny Situation N

Hello again.  I’m glad that there were so many welcoming comments.  I think I will start to post daily now, just to feel better.  You know what I find funny?  How open you can be with strangers.  Often I throw out random hypothetical scenarios to people to see what they would say.  “If there was a five grenades on the table and only one was live, what would it take to make you pull a single pin?”  Often I would get answers like all the money in the world or all the knowledge in the world.  When they would ask me I would say maybe a stick of gum or five dollars.  They would ask me why so little and I would say “I don’t really have much to lose.”  Of course they would laugh and write it off as a joke.  Sometimes when people would ask me how I am doing I would say “Horrible.  I want to kill myself.”  The would chuckle and say “Same.”  Often I would berate myself and say what a loser I am.  They would just smile and think I was joking.  I don’t blame them.  How could they possibly know?  I just find it funny how I could be so open and no one would be any the wiser.    I don’t expect them to pick up on it by the way.  Oddly being so open puts a bit of ease on myself.   I can’t explain it, but something about telling a person that I’m suicidal and them not having any pity for me feels liberating.  You know what I mean?  I guess that’s the end of my post.  Thanks for listening.  Side note what does that rad sash next to some profile pics mean?  Just curious.