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made it thru today…

by Soco
written by Soco

Well I made it thru today with only a few minor scratches and awkward moments at work. To those of u who commented this morning (my time), may ur karmic bank accounts overflow!! Without spewing too many platitudes u guys really helped. Example….where I wouldve gone to the bathroom at work and watched YouTube videos of the golden gate bridge and budd dwyer repeatedly, I just checked ur comments on my post. I reckon that’s much healthier behaviour. Hang tough mofos and try to keep it together. That’s all I can do atm.

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24 comments

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:02 am

I’m glad you made it through today. I am
having a lot of bad days lately and it makes me a little optimistic that there is some hope. I hope every day is a better day for you.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:08 am

Thanks g. I wish the same for u. Alot of what u have said to me has helped. Its hard when it feels like the days have the light turned down. Im on my phone so slow to respond but anything u wanna get off ur chest? I gotta remember its not all about me.

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:11 am

I feels like the world is turning against me. Something bad is going to happen. And I can’t take it anymore.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:14 am

Do u mean from ur own hand or someone elses?

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:18 am

Both. My anxiety went to the roof. My heart is beating like crazy. I can’t breathe and I wanna cry.

Cordless 4/27/2016 - 4:15 am

Only a few minor scratches and awkward moments!

I agree that there are days when that is a triumph.

May your internet bathroom time overflow.

(Wait… that sounded unfortunate…)

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:16 am

Yeah totally but all good. I get it.

Cordless 4/27/2016 - 4:17 am

🙂

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:17 am

Thanks cordless.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:21 am

Thats sucks. I get those times. It sounds odd but asmr videos help me when like that. Its wierd at first but if it works its good.
Have u got anyone close to u in the human world

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:24 am

I have a couple of people. But they can be judging. And I can’t have this right now. I just want to go home and take something to relax and figure out what to do.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:28 am

Is that a possibility atm?? Going home. Sorry if im slow to respond my phone is pissing me off!! Yeah I guess thats why we are here. No judging. What are u up to anyways? School work?

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:30 am

No I’m at work. It’s almost noon here. I’m trying to control my breathing and hold on until I go home. Home is my safe place. Lock myself inside and just do nothing.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:36 am

Yeah I hear that. Im just commuting home. Hour and a half with public transport. I think work can be the worst when u have a anxietyatattack. I wish I had a wealth of knowledge to suggest a solution. Just know that I give a shit about. Even though we never met. I do care.

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:38 am

Thanks soco. I know you do. You are a good person. I’ll try to hold on. I’ll be here a lot in a few hours when I get home.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:42 am

I will be around. Have u ever watched the people u work with and try to imagine what they do after work. I come up with some crazy scenarios. It helps keep me sane. Hang in there g. I go to NA and they talk about a day at a time. I think for us its a minute at a time

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:44 am

I don’t think they have an interesting life. And I actually don’t like them much.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:51 am

Works not really the best place to foster friendships. U really are having a hard time hey… I really dont know what to say. It will get better. Anyway u said u would be on sp later. Im looking forward to that!! U can tell me how u made it thru the afternoon when ur home and safe and in ur own space.

gkks 4/27/2016 - 4:52 am

I will. Thanks for the positive comments.

Soco 4/27/2016 - 4:58 am

It’s about all I can say. I doubled my meds today after not much sleep. Was having a real hard time earlier and still not quite with it. How long have u been suffering this kinda stuff?

brighteyes77 4/27/2016 - 5:02 am

Good man Soco! Im proud you made it through the day (this is going to sound weird but you’ll understand me) with minor scratches! Its an improvement! And helps always on here for you when needed 🙂 when the depression tries creeping in kick it in the **** and keep smiling!

Soco 4/27/2016 - 5:07 am

Oh shit bright eyes! ! I just fucking fell over laughing. Seriously, i have just been talking to gkks on the train so not looking where I was going and bam!! “Kick it in the ****”” and stacked it!! Too funny. Especially at 6 foot 4 in peak hour..

brighteyes77 4/27/2016 - 5:57 am

Hahaha I do try to get a giggle out of people! 😀

Soco 4/27/2016 - 5:13 am

Hey g, im just getting some dinner sorted out so not around for a little bit. Will be checking to hear from u later. So hit me up. Take care.

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