January 5th, 2021

Today is my birthday 4 more years until I’m an adult, they say every year gets easier but they couldn’t be more wrong. Getting older doesn’t do anything besides take us one year closer to death. At all cost just keep your head down and fake a smile. I’ve been doing that for almost 6 years and I’ve seemed to get passed the world and there standers. Everyone is wish me a happy birthday and all I can say is thank you if even that. Life gets harder every year you are alive and everything just sucks. I’ve been losing sleep, yesterday was my first day back to school from break and I had to fight sleep in all 5 classes. Today it’s going to be the same story. It’s always that everyday, headphones become your best friend in the beginning and apart of your body at the end. Energy drink after another, one smoke after another until I can’t feel and I’m able to just lay there and think of what my life has come to. I’m so young and I’ve grown up to fast, I’ve already had to take a pregnancy test because sex is a form of physical touch that isn’t a punch, smoking everyday and downing a bottle of vodka because it gives me emotion. I don’t know what else to say beside happy birthday.