I hate being awake I hate being asleep I hate being tired I hate eating I hate not eating I hate sweating I hate being wet I hate being damp I hate being dirty enough to taste it on my hands I hate being dirty enough to get another infection I hate not cutting I hate being caught cutting I hate when people talk to me I hate when people talk about me I hate when people see me I hate when people think of me I hate it when I can’t draw I hate when I can draw but the drawing ends up looking like shit I hate having to think I hate having to move I hate being still I hate having to hear things I hate loud noises I hate new noises I hate how loud silence is I hate bright loud lights I hate when I can’t see I hate when people touch my things I hate when people see my things I hate having things I hate not having enough I hate having to wear clothes I hate having to think about clothes I hate having to think about my appearance I hate having to see my appearance I hate having an appearance I hate that I’m alive I hate that I can’t die yet because I’d leave a mess behind I hate that when I die k will think about me I hate making k sad I hate to think that when I kill myself k night blame himself I hate that I met k because it will ruin them I hate that k knows me I wish k would forget me I wish that I could die without hurting him I wish that I could just eat myself alive right now without worrying about making a scene or a mess or making people sad