How do you know if you’re “crazy” by societal standards?
I have some medical issues that affect me on a day to day and sometimes, I hear my parents calling my name when they’re nowhere near me. I pass out a fair bit when laying down and dream about random nonsense and I guess some people I knew from the before times. Random songs I’d heard before play in my head at random and I’d like it very much to stop. I flip back and forth between okay and not okay, and I’m always stressed about money shit. I need help but I’m in such a position where I wouldn’t qualify for what I need. I think the only time I feel any kind of normalcy is when I game or am focused on work or the occasional tech videos and light programming practice.
Why can’t I just help myself? Fix the things that are wrong with me on my own? I shout here about the crap that messes with my head, but I’m such a recluse IRL that I can’t let anyone past a certain point, lest they think I’m crazy too…
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Great question, no easy answers because I think the line between normal & crazy is too blurry.
We’ve all probably seen that person at a bus stop who’s carrying on loud conversations with invisible voices… that’s crazy in every book. But how about talking to ourselves in private, or like you said hearing someone call you when there’s nobody there? Having a song or a “voice” obsessively stuck in our head? Cuz I’m guilty of all that.
My guess is it comes down to how well you can pretend to be normal. If you can shut the disrupting thoughts outta your head long enough to have a normal convo in public, then I guess you’re basically sane (enough to pass a psych eval).
But if you’re looking for mental health resources it sounds like you’d definitely qualify. Technically any mental quirk that interferes with your life can be called a disorder of some sort. And if you ask me every human on the planet has some type of disorder, even if it’s deluding themselves into thinking the world is just fine.
One way or the other, like you said it sucks that we can’t open up to ppl irl… The fact that we think about suicide puts us on the crazy side of that blurry line, according to them..
This was brought on from something I did a few months back. Stability is questionable, especially now, and I literally sang a song in my head completely belittling myself trying to figure out what’s going on.
Idk what normalcy is anymore. I think I used to, or I faked it well enough. Now though, I know how I am, and I keep to myself mostly. It’s always an awkward place that I can’t seem to understand.
I guess the line between genius and insanity is also blurry as well huh?
Yep a very blurry line between genius and insanity. Geniuses have to exist on the fringe, otherwise they’re just average. But I guess the tricky part is avoiding the trap of falling so deep into your own mind that you completely lose touch with reality. I’m halfway there lol
It’s about who you ask. I can only talk about my case; I’m considered sane enough to look after myself, but unstable enough to need twice a month therapy and 5 prescription meds. In today’s highly medicated world, I’m actually “normal” for whatever that’s worth.
By someone’s standard I’m a piping hot mess. My standards. My parents standards. I was just doing one of our state of life conversations with my dad, and he reminded me that I’m overweight and I should be working. Damn straight I said, if I could get an employer who was willing…… it’s a rant. I’m so burnt out I don’t want to try anymore.
I do, but it’s all performative. I don’t believe in anything, least of all anyone who offers improvement on where I am right now. I don’t need much, and I don’t want much anymore either. I’ve had the ambition kicked out of me, also any desire I had to fit or be normal. I think if you manage it by age 8, you might hit it. If you’re divergent by age 12, it’s too late, other people have been at it full speed for too long for anyone but the most manipulative to pretend. By 35, where I am, no one cares. Apart from my doctor and therapist, no one is particularly bothered that I’m unwell. Also therapist is entirely hypothetical right now. I’m supposed to talk to my case manager about getting a referral tomorrow, then after the referal I wait for an assignment, then the first session is just administrative BS, I’m at least 3 weeks from getting any real help.
Oh I relate to being a being a mess by my own and my parents standards. I’m also overweight as all hell and NEED to get back into shape before my body betrays me…
I’m not that far off from 35, nor from 30, and I’ve never really been able to see a big picture for my own self. I’d have an idea as to what I’d like to do maybe, but where I’d be, what I’d actually be doing, I really don’t know. I thought I did, but I never really did…
Thanks for your comment btw. I’m sorry that you’re so burnt out too. I’m sick and tired of the medical crap, the monetary crap. I just need to sustain myself properly man. I don’t know what to even do.