Do you hear what I hear?

I’ve been back to the doctors, well, to the case workers. They ask questions, and you know how those can sound somewhat off after being away for awhile;

“Do you ever hear or see things that no one else can see?”

DO I?!

Gee mister, I don’t know. I try to check as often as I can, but I always suspect I’m hearing things that others don’t. That they don’t see everything I see.

Because of religion and superstition. Years of awful practice learning to see what isn’t there. Not even getting into art and imagination. I’ve seen worlds beyond worlds. I took a stroll through the end of time. I sat an afternoon in the eternal purgatory of nothingness.

So for all I know you’re the hallucination bub. No, I know the right answer to your stupid question.

I hate it, the whole cage. I’m dangling close to breaking, and they see it. Some of them, the workers. They know well enough it’s expensive as hell when I do break. Lots of drugs, lots of consultations, down time. They’re working their darn asses off trying to keep me sane, and I do appreciate it.

But they don’t hear what I hear. I know they don’t.

I know which things they don’t. Because some of those things I used to think are real are about as real as Mickey Mouse. That is we certainly pretend convincingly…… but it doesn’t matter, it is an agreed upon abstract.

PROVE ME WRONG! The proof is in the pudding! I gave my best, my all, and will continue. But I have no delusion any of it matters. It’s for my feeble pride, a weakness of mine and nothing else.

Do you hear what I hear? No sir. I hear music when there’s none around, and my heart beats to the bass line. The lyrics weave absurdity around your pithy daily dilly dally.

Humans always find patterns where none exist. We are pattern finding machines, even when there are no patterns to find. So is it any wonder we impose a narrative when there is nothing but a crash and cacophony of noise and chaos? Fools to a man, I am but an ordinary human.