The other post is about inequality at a systemic/nation level. This post is on an individual level.
Why do some ppl have to be born so screwed in life? People who are born to poor parents and/or abusive parents are basically SCREWED out of life. Trust me, I would know. I get that “life isn’t fair.” It’s one thing if it’s 60-40 against you, or even 70-30. But how are you EVER going to eek out any semblance of life when life is against you 99-1?
How are we ever supposed to attain happiness, or love, or joy when life smashes a million lemons in your face? You can’t pull yourself up by the bootstraps if you have no bootstraps.
I’m just tired of a shit life. A life of poverty and health issues. I just want to live a NORMAL AVG life. Not even asking for a rich life or anything. Just…even an avg life.
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Ya in hindsight, I feel I mostly lucked out being where I am today…thought right now I’m going through a pretty rough time…but I believe I’ll overcome it soon and things should improve after, esp. once I move out.
I’ve had numerous near death experiences and a few times I faced homelessness, but have been able to get back thanks to family (mostly my mom).
I’ve been pushed to my mental and physical limits many times. One of the lowest times in my life was when my mom was losing her health, she missed a few months of work (and was getting evicted from her apt) and I didn’t have a job at the time, this was over 20 years ago.
My dad was in the process of moving houses and basically kicked me out-though it was mutual to be fair, I didn’t want to live with him anymore either…but the worst part was that I had no income and had a couple of weeks to find a new place for my mom and I.
I was driving around the city with no insurance and was scared asf to get stopped by cops. I was having panic/anxiety attacks daily, barely got 4 hours sleep a night and slept whenever I could.
Even though my dad knew everything that was happening to me, he did diick-all to help me find another place or even offer to assist with first/last month’s rent.
Thank goodness my mother was always a good saver…she had some jewelry which we sold…which gave us enough cash for first month’s rent. Though the jewelry was a ripoff, she lost most of it’s value…she would’ve been better off saving it in a bank or buying bonds…but anyways, we avoided disaster.
From then on I did my best to make sure we always had a lot of savings and to always be employed as much as possible (though I had to take breaks for health in some rare cases).
It’s just crazy looking back, seeing all the things one has suffered through and wonder how we just managed to survive. And I don’t mean the middle class version of surviving where they downsize their house or something silly like that. Ofc I mean by the skin of our teeth.
It’s not over yet, I still have problems, but I also feel I am close to a turning point and hopefully things will improve for me soon or by later this year.
So ya getting back to your original post…if I barely managed in my life, I feel for those who don’t have the “safety net” that I did.
Sadly there’s nobody “in charge,” it’s a free for all out there. Nobody is stopping terrible people from having kids and treating them horribly, making them homeless when they become a teenager. Nobody is there helping kids in those positions.
Nobody can referee or be a guardian angel in anyone’s life and step in and help. It’s every man/woman for themselves and it’s up to them to get a job/home, and so on.
If you don’t have friends/family, people who can help you, and/or you have bad health, then you’re SOL.
The problem starts with rotten people (like my bad sister) having kids when they shouldn’t (she was unemployed at the time and we told her to abort, she didn’t listen)…she and her spouse struggled financially for a few years…she even had to use food banks.
But nobody can escape poverty like well-educated people can, because it opens doors for them…they’re doing great now, own several houses and have good jobs in the US….they’re lucky they got educated, otherwise they’d be still stuck in poverty.
She’s still a scummy person, a backstabbing user and ingrate, and we stopped talking years ago.
Life shouldn’t be this way, and there are so many ways it could be better…but here we are. The root of the problem is shitty people breeding when they shouldn’t…they’re the cause of most of the suffering in the world.
There wouldn’t be slums in the third world for example if people living in slums stopped reproducing. Stupid poor people are the source of most of this misery…I include my parents, but fortunately they weren’t as bad as other parents which is why I managed to get by in life.
Ofc like you I wanted a ‘normal life’ too. Not to say I’m blameless, I made some bad decisions along the way…but I largely hold my dad responsible, for not being a good father when he should’ve and for harming my life and meddling when he should’ve stayed out.
“…she had some jewelry which we sold… Though the jewelry was a ripoff, she lost most of it’s value…”
dude- jewelry is NEVER an investment. it will never increase in value unless it was worn by a celebrity or has some historical meaning. it’s like a brand new car- the second it is driven off the lot, it immediately loses value.
Trust me I know…but my mom has always been somewhat secretive and does things without telling anyone. I think she had trust issues growing up and felt she had to do everything on her own.
On the plus side she managed to squirrel away some savings for when things got bad (which literally saved our lives later on)…but ofc, in this case she made the mistake of investing in jewelry-in the past she actually bought Canada savings bonds which doubled in value.
I wish she stuck with them, but as I recall, CSB’s were phased out and maybe she didn’t know what to invest in after-she should’ve talked to her bank or just kept it in her savings account (or saved the cash).
With my dad moving, it was all very last minute and he gave me no time to find even a simple job so I’d have an income…I really got blindsided by that event. There was more going on, trouble at his work…but that’s an aside.
But it goes back to what I was saying before. I took for granted that he’s my father and I’d always have a place to stay with him, until he pulled the rug out from underneath me.
Honestly I should’ve known better because of his tendency to become sociopathic at times (like my problem sister)…I should’ve never gotten too comfortable living with him the second time and should’ve stayed focused on being on my own or with my mom instead.
Ofc my mom learned the hard way that jewelry is not an investment (as she thought)…but thank god it was just enough for us to settle into to our new apartment.
I had no help from anyone-I asked my ‘good’ sister for some cash and she should’ve pitched in but I’m sure her rotten spouse dissuaded her (they were doing well financially)…she had no idea how close we were to ending up homeless and she didn’t care, even though I told her how bad things were for us. So much for being the ‘good sister.’
My mom’s health improved a bit and she managed to work but our income was barely enough, but it kept us going till I finally got a job and then things improved a lot from there.
My life since, I left university has been nothing but pointless struggle/suffering, just trying to keep a roof over our heads…not a life I’d want, but I’d never abandon family members I care about.
I truly hope my plan works out and I think it will…and it’ll be worth it in the end, but it could fizzle out as well…the next few months will be telling.
“Ofc my mom learned the hard way that jewelry is not an investment ”
–i don’t get women who think jewelry is in “investment”? i mean, i think most women like jewelry and it’s just an excuse to buy more. but jewelry never increases in value unless it was a rare material that isn’t used anymore, made by a famous dead person, worn by a famous dead person, etc.
–not picking on your mom but i don’t get how so many women think they are “investments.” worn, used common jewelry isn’t worth much at all.
i mean she did sell her precious jewelry to help you out so not knocking her. i think the jewelry salesman probably lied to her about how it’ll grow in value so she’d buy them. probably what happened.
“it’s a free for all out there.”
it’s not like that in some other countries. Japan, Scandivanian countries, etc. Their ppl are doing great, much better than US/Can/UK.
Well in Japan I know there are some people who are poor and struggling…but manage to get by.
I think Nordic countries are probably the best place to live…though they have a serious problem now with migrant invaders, in all of Europe.
But ya, Canada/US are tough places to be. Good jobs are hard to find and also keep…there’s a lot of problems dealing with people at work, mostly management.
Then ofc problems with the high cost of housing and rotten money-grubbing landlords. If you got in early and established yourself in Canada, then you’re laughing.
The rest of us missed the ‘gravy train’…and it got a lot harder after, though my dad caught the tail end of it and managed to buy a house early enough to get on the real estate ladder and rode it higher.
By the time my mom and I were in a good financial position to own property, even a condo, the prices ran away from us. They’ve come back down a bit but still out of reach for most average income earners.
I bet there are a lot of people in a similar unenviable position like us, forced into renting when we should be owning. Canada is no longer the “great place to live” that it used to be.
That’s why I think many immigrants have gone back, because they realize life is too expensive here, the jobs are shiit, low-paying…the only thing good left is the free health care, relative peace and cleanliness and social programs…most people are nice, but I’m sure there are better places to settle.
“That’s why I think many immigrants have gone back, because they realize life is too expensive here, the jobs are shiit, low-paying…the only thing good left is the free health care, relative peace and cleanliness and social programs…most people are nice, but I’m sure there are better places to settle.”
–Well shit, that still sounds like paradise to an American. Free healthcare, relative peace, cleanliness, social programs- good luck finding all that in the US. We have NONE of that. What few social programs we do have is constantly being cut -_-
lol i low-key want to marry a Scandinavian. only half-kidding 😛 better living there than here that’s for sure. -_-