idk

Young darling, I know what you are feeling and saying. It feels so real. I still think it is real for me, but it’s easy for me to tell you don’t do it. Does that make sense? I feel like I don’t make sense sometimes. I am 25 years old. Let’s make a deal…..I will hang around as long as you do, okay? You tell me to keep going, and I will tell you the same. We have to be nuts….this can’t be a good idea. 🙂 We have lost any reason to live. I will stay here for you if you will stay here for me. Deal?

I feel very weird talking to such a young person on the internet like this, and I swear I do not have anything but good intentions at all. But I keep reading your post, and it’s like you’re the first person who knows what I’m feeling. Not being able to tell fantasy from reality…..i said that to a friend a couple of months ago, that I feel like I’m losing touch with reality. And people using me….I’m SO vulnerable, I can’t seem to stop it. Vultures smell me coming a mile away. I also know what it feels like to not be able to talk about stuff. You just can’t. You would love to talk, fix everything, and move on….but you can’t!!!! And I read everything over and over again, like you said. It’s so weird….I have no choice. And i finally reached out to my psychiatrist yesterday, and my worst fear came true….I felt like a crazy pest, like I was bothering him. I know how you’re feeling so well, girl. You are not the only one, and I am so glad to know I am not, either. We are not crazy. 🙂 But suicide is NOT a good idea. I totally believe that you should not kill yourself, and our situations are so similar, so I can only assume that I should not kill myself. It’s plain logic. I hope your heart feels lighter now. Please wait….wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…..that’s what I keep doing. I give it one more day and one more day. And I am actually very glad I have given myself so many chances. How long have you felt like this? It’s been about 5 or 6 months, for me.