Tag:

Several Times

How do you know when it’s time??

by Blue Butterfly 8/26/2013

written by Blue Butterfly

Hi there, i’m not going to bore you with my life story, i’ll be here all day! But just in a nutshell, I’ve suffered from severe depression, anxiety and Borderline personality disorder for over 10 years. I’ve tried absolutely everything to try get better, including ECT. Â Anyway, I’ve been thinking about suicide for at least the last 2 years and I’ve attempted several timesÂ with no luck (obviously!). I really cannot stand living anymore and the pain is unbearable!

Just out of curiosity, how do you know when enough is enough? I see some of you have set a deadline (scuse the pun) for your suicide. How […]

8/26/2013 5 comments

Bad

by blackaltis07 7/31/2013

written by blackaltis07

I tried several times before and maybe it’s time to finish the job. I’ll never be the good person they deserve to have in their lives. I wanted desperately to be the kind of person to make their lives better, not this pathetic waste of space with the foolish notion that I can actually turn things around.

I just want someone to stroke my head and tell me everything will be ok, but do I really deserve that?

7/31/2013 4 comments

Stop

by Sango131 6/26/2013

written by Sango131

I have always struggled with anxiety and depression.

It started when I was 10, I had just started middle school.

I was Bullied. Badly.

Everyday after school I would rush out of the school and try SPRINT home so that the bullies wouldn’t catch me.

They usually did, And I usually went home physically and mentally abused.

I was depressed… but I NEVER thought about committing suicide.

It took a while but my parents finally noticed how depressed I was.

I went to counseling.

It helped, but It didn’t stop the bullies.

That February we moved cities to get me away.

My new school was much better.

I made friends, True Friends. I had my first […]

6/26/2013 4 comments

False Hope

by Jayykeith3312 6/19/2013

written by Jayykeith3312

Today I told myself every thing’s okay, and that if I don’t think about the future it will stay that way longer. Why do I give myself false hope. Why am I still trying. I know hope is lost so why am I faking. You know what one of the worst feelings is? The feeling that someone could be dead or someone could die and it’s all your fault. When people say I’m going to kill myself because of you. That’s not okay. I was in a relationship where several times the other person said goodbye and that they were not going to be alive […]

6/19/2013 3 comments

Completely hopeless

by Greg83 6/9/2013

written by Greg83

I have been a drug addict since I was 15. Â Ive had periods of sobriety the longest being four years however I am once again in active addiction. Â I am a failure in every sense of the word and all I want is to die. Â I have tried several times and just like everything else I try to do in my miserable life I failed. Â I am emotionally and spiritually dead already and have been for most of my life. Â Im 30 years old unemployed and live with my parents. Â Three years ago I owned a home with my beautiful fiance. Â I had all the […]

6/9/2013 2 comments

Utterly useless

by GreySkies 6/6/2013

written by GreySkies

I’ve just joined the site, and this is my first post. I probably won’t write much because I can’t be bothered- nothing is worth bothering with for me. I’m one of those people that passes everybody by where it matters.
I’m 36, I’ve had great chances in life, but blown them all. I’m female, and single. I’ve mostly always been that way, regardless of the fact that i’m a ‘head turner’. It doesn’t mean shit when I don’t have a job, I lost my only baby (pregnancy), my only ever real boyfriend (he walked out in the night whilst I was sleeping and left […]

6/6/2013 10 comments

My Suicide Story

by Turned new leaf 6/4/2013

written by Turned new leaf

This is not â€˜Gyanâ€™. But this is my Suicide story.

I write this with a very heavy heart. Not that I knew Jiah Khan personally. Not that I thought she was a fabulous actor, she was decent but very beautiful, she’d do very well indeed if she had Â willed. But she was woman, like me. She was a person like us all. She was struggling with life and she gave up, she quit.

Her suicide story took me down memory lane. Not a pleasant one of course. The darkness is mostly never pleasant. I certainly find it addictive and I have witnessed its malignant face too. I […]

6/4/2013 0 comment

Urge to kill myself…

by Engeltje 5/12/2013

written by Engeltje

Last week I had a nightmare about killing myself. Seemed like strangle was the best option. I saw in my dream how I put a tie-wrap on my neck and how I tighted it. When I woke up, it felt like my neck was pinched. I couldn’t breathe well and swallow was also difficult. I haven’t told anyone about my dream. The whole week I was thinking about committing suicide and I really had the urge to do it. Also I had the urge to strangle myself. Last week I had several times that I had that urge and that I wrapped my hands around […]

5/12/2013 2 comments

Depression is burying me

by Narya 5/7/2013

written by Narya

I’m in my early 20s now and I’ve survived a tough teenage, including several suicidal attemps. I’ve always been an “alternative” girl, listening to non commercial music, not wearing fashionable cloths, not going to the disco, not smoking/bingedrinking/fucking with everyone around. This fact made my life more complicated and allowed a lot of people to talk shit about me and bully me. I’ve tried several times to convince myself that my being unique should be a reason good enough to live, but it didn’t last too long. My family is a normal one, but my parents don’t support me, don’t like what I do and […]

5/7/2013 0 comment

Remembering the dead

by wishful thinking 4/27/2013

written by wishful thinking

Over the years I have known several people that have successfully ended their lives. Â None of them have been true friends but just people in my life that I have known. Â The most recent is a man , for the most part well respected in the community, very generous with his time, great with kids, a professional and a very active member of the church. Â I was one of the few that knew he was dealing with manic depression. Â (Isn’t it odd that we can pick them out immediately, almost like they had Â a scarlet letter around their neck but only visible to us, […]

4/27/2013 3 comments

last yr this yr..shit im different

by fakingit 4/18/2013

written by fakingit

yeah so shit i remember last yr shit ive been a member of this site for a year now. damn yeah so lets start there then..ive grown up so much and at the same time hit rock bottom.

last yr i was being bullied for being fat at the same time i was starving myself and working myself to the max to get thin. i did it. then one bite of food became an addiction over this past yr now i have start over with that.

last yr i was scared to leave the house. now this yr i leave and i tell haters to […]

4/18/2013 2 comments

Eliza dolittitle fruitcake

by cazzam75 3/14/2013

written by cazzam75

I am 37 with ADHD I Â I am over qualified but uncpder experienced for jobs _a fruitcake with no friends only a married man for company and I want to die every day of my shit life. Too intelligent to be happy with little as my sister a corporate lawyer earning millions and is pretty with husband and 2.4 kids I’m the reject genes and fail at everything – how can you kill yourself when you’ve Tories several times previously and jeep waking up the next day? Obviously have a guardian angel with a fucking sick sense of humour

3/14/2013 1 comment

Please give me some advice.

by music123 3/5/2013

written by music123

I’m fourteen years old and currently in middle school. I’m being bullied by a boy in my Spanish class. I barely know this kid but he’s always bothering me. He says the meanest things to me and I just want him to leave me alone. I just mind my own business and talk to my friend, and he just makes rude comments or makes fun of things I say to my her and I wasn’t even talking to him. I haven’t done anything against him or given him any reason to hate me, yet he still does. He’s done this the whole year. He’s even […]

3/5/2013 3 comments

for u nonfish

by shelleycakes 2/19/2013

written by shelleycakes

im from a little country in the caribbean. my whole life ive lived with terrible social anxiety. i shut down when i try to be around anyone. its prevented me from growing up and becoming anything. im 24 now.

when i was younger i got the chance to live in england w my aunt. she saw i had no life here with deadbeat family. i had dropped out of school and slept through the day.

years were difficult in england. my problems eventually got me sent back home.

i live now w my parents and every day is the same. i never go out and i dont have […]

2/19/2013 2 comments

He’s killing me

by DeadlyLove 2/10/2013

written by DeadlyLove

Hi – I’m a 22 year old girl, and I have had the luck to find someone who is the perfect match for me. If something like a “soulmate” exists, then I found mine, the love of my life. However, over 4 months ago I lost him to amnesia….he’s a soldier and he experienced a very bad psychic trauma, since that he forgot nearly everything about his past and his life. Of course, I was gone too. Over the months some of his memories came back, but nothing about me…I only saw him twice in this condition, and the last time was over 2 months […]

2/10/2013 2 comments

Im done. . . goodbye

by ForSakeN 2/5/2013

written by ForSakeN

I am a 29 year old male. I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. I have attempted suicide several times, I chose to believe that perhaps there was a reason why I survived. As if there a purpose to my existence. However at this point I have abandoned that frail belief and have chosen to give up completely. I can not remember most of my past, the memories are there but they have become so faded and blurry I can no longer distinguish the realities of my past with the vibrant thoughts of my once over active imagination.

The first attempt […]

2/5/2013 1 comment

Seconds away from death.

by Different 2/4/2013

written by Different

Today I was seconds away from ending my life. What changed my mind I still do not know.

After 10 years of SEVERE deppresion I am tired, I am tired of it all. I am exhausted.

I tried fighting back for year after year. Medications and therapy(many different therapists) for 10 years and I have not moved a single step forward. Not one step..

2 years ago I gave up. After 8 years of trying I was tired of fighting and in the end i realised I am never going to feel joy again. Â I gave up hope.

I have always had suicidal thoughts for as long as I […]

2/4/2013 2 comments

I am a suicide victim

by bear417 1/30/2013

written by bear417

i have attempted suicide at least 5 times. I have thought about it more hours than I can count. Ive suffered rape, loss of loved ones, physical and emotional abuse, OCD, and an unstable childhood. In spite of all these painful reasons to die, I’m turning 25 and I am so grateful that all my attempts were thwarted.

I was always in so much pain I could not think about anyone else.

Two years ago my view of suicide was completely changed. My boyfriend of over 5 years killed himself in my bedroom while I was at work. Never in my life have I felt more pain. […]

1/30/2013 3 comments

Seventh Time Unlucky

by roojay13 1/29/2013

written by roojay13

Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.

From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.

All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.

From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]

1/29/2013 4 comments

The urge of cutting and suicide.

by Engeltje 1/26/2013

written by Engeltje

Today I really tended and had the urge to cut myself and to plan my suicide. I felt really terrible today. It started this morning, the thoughts of don’t want to live anymore. I had to find out what the methods are to kill yourself. I had to, just to feel calmer. I searched on the internet and found a list with success rates. It made me happy and calm. It gaves me safety. I was thinking about what method I will do first. Lots of the methods were really painful or really hard to do. Like using a gun. How would I ever get […]

1/26/2013 17 comments

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