Taken from Robert Crumb’s Plunge Into The Depths Of Despair (1983)
And if anyone […]
Today I came across a post of a someone who said he’s changed, he’s unhappy and says that he has to wear his old happy mask in front of others..
And I’ve come to the conclusion that, maybe accepting the new mask and wearing it, as different and somber as it may be; forming a new life (which is a collection of ideas and actions) around the new mask is key to rebuilding one’s life – as opposed to living a lie with the old mask, the wrong mask.
How can anyone live comfortably or truthfully with a mask that […]
(I) IS THE EGO MAKER the false self (i am just is) to write what 1 thinks dont matter anymore bcuz 1 knows it is in the being the silence of nothing that i find myself as free immortal love primordial energy although i have chosen to loose myself and be a trolling bstad to survive i get angry and frustrated from that bliss i used to be my heart broke this is what causes me to want to suicide and i am very capable as i have done it b4 and was saved i live for other 1s there attachment and love to me […]
don’t read this
just wanted to say thattttt, well, not even feeling suicidal now, because I’m drunk, buttttt I understand how about 90% of you feel (after reading the posts as a non-member for a while) annnd i think this site is amazing. because when i was feeling these thoughts i was a lot younger (not that I don’t feel them now) but let’s face it when you’re younger you almost have to depend on your parents and it only worsens that feeling of helplessness when you can’t drive/escape because you rely on your parents’ money/support, etc. and when I was younger I didn’t have a […]
Hi people, been like this for as long as i can remember, most of my problems are from me being lazy, i mean apparently a doctor says iâ€™ve got depression too but truthfully i just think its my own stupid fault. Iâ€™m a big, lazy fat, 20 year old who spends his days indoors doing nothing, I see you great, amazing people and i wonder am i allowed to complain, you people are having to live through the real problems and i donâ€™t feel like i should be allowed to complain. Iâ€™ve wanted to kill my self for such a long time now, though Iâ€™m […]
Most of the time, I don’t need people. They’re irrelevant. I can manage ok without them, better in fact as I find people tiring. I have to smile and laugh and pretend everything is fine. It’s so much easier by myself. I can relax and be myself – even if that means crying in a corner. At least I have that freedom when I’m alone. But every so often I find myself reaching out. Trying to find someone to listen to me, to accept me – to like me. I want acceptance and to be admired. I want people to be surprised by my intellect […]
But really I don’t!I wish I did, and people tell me they are, and it seems that people want to talk to me, but I am alone. See I wanted to tell you, I have no friends! I live my life, and I know people, and those people talk to me, But they don’t care.What they care about is their ego, or their agenda. They don’t care about me or my problems.
There is this one girl. Who I like very much, and who I can sometimes confide in.
But I am that guy. That guy who is her friend. She doesn’t want to confide in me.
I want to give up so badly. When I do give up it wonâ€™t be sudden or unexpected. It will be slow. Slow and not so brutal. I canâ€™t live with the notion that my father never gave a fuck and lives multiple lives to satisfy his ego. I can live with the fact that someone is always there for me. I canâ€™t live with the fact that Iâ€™m such an ungrateful, self-centered ***** that canâ€™t see beyond her own pain and suffering. I probably do deserve this. Then again maybe this whole thing called life never gave me a fair chance. I could argue […]
Lyrics to song I pretty much jus stayedÂ up all night writing..
Oh and uh.. *All Rights Reserved*? haha.
When was the last time you breathed?
I mean honestly, fully, whole heartedly took a breath?
When was the last time you took a stand?
I mean verbally, viciously, fought for something you believed?
When was the last time you fell in love?
Fell so hard, you found yourself unwilling to even get up?
When was the last time you truly cared?
Thought about somebody else, not the person in the mirror
Self-centered, self-ish, but sophisicated
We pride ourselves in all the wars and the domination
But what’s the point in killing other beings created
Like ourselves? We’re just […]
i am unable to control my anger towards my husband. Â i love him so much….. but things are sooo worse that i have to give explanations for every small reason………. i dont want to hurt him but my mouth is not in my control….. not at all………….
what makes me to control my anger?
i love my husband but i cant agry for every thing he asks………….. does that mean- i dont love my hus as much as i love myself? or is it just my ego which is making a far distance between us?
pls help me!
The biggest piece of bullshit I have ever heard, is when someone tries to comfort me. I know that sounds weird, but maybe oddly true. Only one person on the world has ever been able to make me feel not alone, but she doesn’t know I am in love with her. But that is besides the point. Everyone else, when they comfort me, seems to have ulterior motives. Maybe they feel obligated. Maybe they are trying to stroke their own ego. Maybe …….
The point being is that They have their own ulterior motive, They don’t really care about me, or you. Though why should They? […]
Not too much to say except, I came a long way but never really reached that mountain top. It’s a long way down the hill now and all my dreams lay dead below.
I’ve never really met anyone like me. I feel trapped in my own head. I can be so superficial, really, to be honest. And I am ashamed of it. I don’t know if Â there could have ever been any other way for me, but I remember it all started by trying to scape the pain I was feeling. Movies kept me alive in a far away land where beautiful girls were loved for […]
i can create a beautiful life in my imagination. i am able to share my imagination with people. however, i can’t live the beautiful life which my inspired imagination painted for me. my ideals that ostensibly obstruct my connection with humanity are strangling me now. i am a man who lives in a constant fear state. i live out my life in other worlds that are not real since i cannot live in this one. it’s not that i want to die so much as it is that i can’t live. i will always be half of a great man. never a great man. a […]
There are a few background things you might want to know. Firstly, I’m a clinical psychopath. This doesn’t make me a killer or a psycho, although it is generally a daily struggle to keep from being either. To me, the world is black and white; there exists, for me at least, no shades of gray. My parents have known about my condition and have actually by and large done an excellent job of raising me. I come from a privileged family and have had everything I have needed provided for me, within reason. I’ve worked to secure that which would not be provided, namely the […]
Had a rough few days. I’m so drained, and still have things to take care of. Crying every now and then. Music by my side, stuffed animal by my side. I do not hunger and I do not thirst. I just sit here like a brick as I keep moving forward. I read a an old posted link and It made me realize I am not as good as I thought. While other want to fight but don’t know how I’d just like to get away from everything. Away far away. I don’t know where that is. But it’s what I want. And just like […]
the coward’s way out, then I’d rather be a smart coward than brave and delusional
ever since I’ve stopped going to college (sept. 2011), I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next, what path to follow .. in vain
but the truth is: a future where I’m glad I’m still alive, where I’ve found a purpose is a self-inflicted lie .. my ego+personality knows that when I die, it will be the end of it and it can’t stand the idea of its own death .. so it would rather fool me into believing there’s still something to gain from, something to accomplish […]
I have pushed so many people away from my life… I’m so sick of being fake around people… if I’m genuinely not happy with myself I don’t want to be around others nor do I want to bring them down… I just want to be left alone to deal with my own emotion and problems.
Being Adhd and Autistic isn’t easy for me, during my teens I’ve done a lot of drugs as an outlet to help me express myself since so much I felt I was suppressed through society, school, parents…Â even though now I don’t smoke or pop pills anymore I just don’t feel […]
a struggle with growing apathy .. to have little concern for too many things .. to live life in autopilot mode, doing things because youâ€™re used or expected to and rarely because you desire to .. your soul is disconnected from this 3D reality, you have a wandering mind and your body is what keeps you trapped in a world you donâ€™t want to be a part of
Iâ€™ve been living this way for 4+ years and Iâ€™m truly fed up with being half a zombie half a robot .. Iâ€™ve done a lot of introspection to find out Iâ€™m only interested in two things: total […]
am I supposed to keep going:
– when it feels like my drive to desire is broken (desire being the root of action) ?
– when my ego’s been getting weaker for theÂ past 5+ years ?
– when my mind cannot generate meaningful goals etc like it used to ?
I wanted to become a psychologist when I started going to college (sept. 06) .. it was my only and meaningful goal, my door into the future
I got to experience mental abuse & other bad things in an environment I started to hate .. unfortunately, I had no other realistic option than […]
Sometimes, when I answer you I ask a question of you;
If you really had a choice, how would you choose?
If you had a magic wand to fix your life,
How would you wave it?
If you had a switch, that you could throw, that would end your suffering without killing you, would you throw it?
More important than discussing the possibility of such magics, is discussing your will to use them.
What good is a true solution if you won’t use it?
And is there such a switch?
Does such a choice exist?
Can you have such power over your own life?
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