Life of freedom compared to life in prison

Yours is a unique situation and I would consider it a blessing compared to a lot of other people’s, who actually have to worry about what is going to happen to them if they lose money and of course wind up in prison as the natural consequence of not having any money. A lot of those people would kill themselves just before their being taken into “custody”. Not you though, you don’t have to worry about those things, if you go back if anything it sounds like it’s going to be a good thing for you. If I were in your situation I’d be sort of glad, if it weren’t for the fact that I like hiking so much and the outdoors, that’d be difficult for me to give up. Going to school sounds like a good way to spend your time outside, if you spend like 3 hours a day (other than the time in class) with homework and studying then you’ll be okay.

What I did was go to one of the private colleges, like Heald, University of Phoenix, Devry University, Art Institute, which is what I’m doing now. They are a major ripoff, upwards of $2,000 per class, but they will get you a student loan no matter how bad your credit score is, they did for me, so that’s the trade off. It can be depressing racking up that much debt though, I think it sort of wore me down. I’m in my second semester now. The first semester I got all A’s, then I got depressed and suicidal and just stopped going, I’m getting all F’s right now and getting endless emails every day warning me that I better shape up and soon or they’re going to drop me forever and leave me with a fat bill. That might be the price I have to pay. I’m majoring in business but I don’t like it, it hasn’t taught me anything I didn’t already know, except for some of the accounting techniques which was interesting, like keeping a ledger balanced. Anyways, I wish the private colleges offered a wider variety of majors but they don’t. History is one of them that they don’t offer. I think it’s a good major, even though officially they say “you can’t do much with a history degree except teach history” but I doubt that that’s really true. Many employers will see the associates or bachelors in history and will likely see someone worth hiring, even if it’s a job unrelated to the subject. For example, if two people were applying for a high-paying janitor position, one has a GED the other has an associates in history, who is going to get the job? If I could go to a regular college, unlike this ripoff private one, I would probably try and go all the way up to masters or PhD level. But being charged $2,000/class at this private college just pisses me off because I’m not getting anything that would merit leaving me with that sort of bill.

I don’t think you should be suicidal though, worse case scenario you could go back inside and have your old life back living large, and you don’t really have to hurt yourself or anyone else to make that happen, there are plenty of ways to violate parole, a buddy of mine missed a meeting with his PO and they charged him with abscounding as a violation of parole and he’s been back inside for 5 years now on that bs charge. If it makes you feel any better though the police are constantly harassing me and a lot of other people too, they’re always paranoid and trying to find something going on. As adults we should be able to jog all night without anyone telling us different, if they want they could slowly cruise behind as we jog all night, following us around until they get bored. Maybe then they’d realize how dumb it all is. They do it with hiking too, to get on the good trails I have to buy a permit, and it seems like every different trail has a different permit that costs $15 or so each one. I don’t see why a permit is necessary at all. One of the main reasons I hike is because it’s something that I can do for free, but I guess even that isn’t free any more.

If I were you I’d just go to college, and if I ever got bored of that or felt that it just wasn’t my scene, I’d miss an appointment with a parole officer and go back on the abscounding charge. You could always try to find work that pays $1,000/week like you’re used to, good luck though, all I’ve managed to scrape together lately is about $100/week at most, and that’s all I’ve made for the last 4 years on average, probably a lot less actually. And in the years prior to that I made much less, maybe $20/week at most. This world certainly isn’t free any more, and if you’re interested in history I think that it parellels what happened to Russia around 1917 and the decades after it, pretty much until present day. With all these broke and unemployed people in America now it isn’t going to be good, this is like phase I, they’ll wait until we’re so weak that we can no longer revolt and then bring in phase II, probably mass roundups in my opinion. Americans have this sense of being protected from the elements, but if you notice they’re losing that sense of invisible protection, I could easily see roundups being next and then even more people will be in prison. Same as they did it after the 1918 Bolshevik revolution in Russia. The Gulag Archipelago by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn is the best history book I’ve ever read, it’s thousands of pages but their is a condensed version that’s only 500 pages or so. I recommend that but it’s a depressing read, “The Soul and Barbed Wire” is the best section of the book. All I have to say for now, hope everything works out for you,

Haunts