I never actually thought i would end up like this, i was always so happy. No that is a lie. Now when i think back i notice i ACTED like i was happy but on the inside i had already died a long time ago. I’m not even 16 and i allready want to end my life so badly! And i can’t tell anyone about these feelings these suicidal thoughs because no one kann really understand me. I used to get bullied alot because of my nationality, of how i spoke, how i looked and how i acted. Four years long not a day went by when i didn’t get pushed against a wall, got punched, got my clothes and money stolen and many horrible other things, but during all that time nobody said anything; not the teachers nor my friends nor my sister nor my parents. I would come home with blue marks evrywhere and a bloody nose yet my parents just looked away. Why? I don’t understand what i did wrong? I wrote good marks in school, i never complained, they never had to tell me off because i was always a good kid, but they just stood there, looking at me from a far how i slowly broke down.
Then suddenly i changed school. I was so happy because i thought now everything would change. Nothing changed. Not only do i get bullied but i also got my heart broken. I was in love for the first time. I know u think im to young for love, but it was true love. I loved him so bafly and sadl still do. But he just came up to me and broke the last piece of hope i had in of living. He used me, lied to me and then made fun of me infront of the whole school. Now i don’t see a piont in living a life where everyone seems to hate me!
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I was bullied as a kid, I was too fat and too serious for everyone. I acted different. Now because of that bullying I am anorexic….about 100 lbs now. It’s not a good thing. I became suicidal at teh age of 14 and now being 16 I tried committing suicide. It is sad sometimes to think that I hate my life so much that I want to end it at such a young age. Being on this site you can find people that are all the same: lonely, suicidal, depressed, and so on. Making friends with people who know exactly what you are going through might be the first step to helping yourself.
I was also bullied at school. I was bullied because of the way I look. Also because of the bullying I developed a social phobia.. an axiety disorder because of the bullying I am scared of every person in case they put me through the same pain. I’ve stopped going to school and I’m scared to even leave the front door. I feel the same as you! So if you ever want to talk.. add me on skype if you have it? or we’ll find a way because I want you to know your not alone! And you can get through this! and soon you will leave school and you wont see the bullies ever again and as you get older things will get easier for you!<3
@feelingempty: thank you! I appreciate your help and i hope you come other your fear, but i know how you feel i’m too scared to trust anyone because i have been betrayed often enough. Yes id like to talk to you sometime, it feels reassuring to know that there are people out there who i kann talk to openly! <3
Hi again determined_rebel: thank you for taking time to comment on my post! I’m only 14 and i have also already attempted suicide the only reason i haven’t gone through with it is because i’m probaly scared. Thats actually the reason i turned to the site.. It’s probaly the only place where i kann tell my story and problems without getting called a nutcase or weirdo or freak…
I found this site because I’m still suicidal and everytime I want to talk about it I can’t because people don’t want to listen. They don’t take me seriously, though I’m not going around telling people that I’m suicidal, I only mean a couple of close friends who know. I am 16, and I tried committing suicide three times. I feel horrible everyday and though I can’t help myself right now, I want to help others cause where I am in life is hell and no one should have to go through it.