I’m never going to be worth anything. Why? Because I try so damn hard to be myself, but apparently that person is already taken.
It’s been like this my whole life. I wanted SO bad to be a horse vet, then a year later, my older sister declares horse vet as her career choice. All anyone talked about what how perfect it was for her. She’s SO good with animals.
I want to visit Ireland and Wales, where my ancestors came from, but NO. Coincidentally, my sister is getting an opportunity to go. I’ve wanted to go since middle school.
I want to work with animals for a living. Pet groomer, animal welfare researcher, doesn’t matter. I can never get hired at a vet practice, groom school or business, can’t get an internship or apprenticeship, Petco, anywhere. I read today that two of my friends are going to do their pet grooming training today.
I participated in the Angel Tree program last year. My boyfriend went along. When we took the clothes and toys to the office, everyone showered him with compliments and thanks. It was my idea. I paid for everything.
I’ve always been a follower and am damned determined for that to end but I can’t because everyone is too busy stealing my thunder.
If everyone else gets what I want, why am I alive?
4 comments
Try not to think of it as a zero sum thing.
Why not go with your sister to Ireland? Or, if you can’t, get the lowdown of great places to visit, sites to see, maybe even some connections you can visit, from her.
Your two friends started their pet grooming training today? That’s lucky, you can learn from them, they can give you inside tips.
The Angel Tree thing: I can see why you want the recognition. If you feel like you’re being snubbed, pipe up, say something. But just forget about that episode now, it was last year. Can’t change the past.
I forgot to say, you’re worth something. You’re unique, even if it sounds corny.
But your worth doesn’t depend on praise. It doesn’t depend on what others think of you. Your worth is something you’re born with. It’s inherent.
Hi,
Here’s the thing….you dont do things for other people. You do them for you.
What you do for a living doesn’t define you as a person, its the decisions you make day by day that define you as a person.
What you need to focus on is working on your self esteem. It shouldn’t matter if your sister is doing what you have always wanted to do, its not a competition…do it anyway, do it better if you want it to be a competition.
say CHALLANGE ACCEPTED to life, and fight for what YOU WANT.
Who cares if your sister gets to go to ireland first, shes older even if she wasn’t, it doesn’t take away the enjoyment of you going eventually.
As for not getting credit for doing charity work….um thats not why you should be doing it. If you are doing things for the right reasons you dont need a pat on the back to say you did a good job, good for you, you feel good because you did something awesome for someone.
Please consider giving yourself recognition for your hard work and know that its not up to others to validate you. You must love yourself, you must validate yourself and you must do things FOR yourself not for others.
When you realize you are beautiful inside and out, and that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks but you, you will flourish.
Let go of the need for validation, and start to do things for yourself. When you are smiling as you go, because you realize what you are capable of, people will recognize that. People wil be receptive to your positivity and joy, not to bitterness and resentment.
Move away emotionally from thinking about what others are doing, and start looking at what your doing….anything? Or are you simply feeling bitter towards others who are succesful while you do nothing to further your life? Sometimes people who doubt their own abilities will be bitter and angry towards those who are succesful because they are too afraid to try for anything, they are afraid they will fail, they dont want to be seen as a failure so they’d rather just make excuses for why they cannot succeed.
You have all the potential in the world, if you are unhappy, do something to further your life, start getting ready to take some classes so you can get into vet school, and if you cannot afford to, then start working towards getting a job so you can save up for vet school, or see about getting a scholarship which is not as hard as it sounds.
Dont give up, and definitely dont blame others…just stand up, realize you have all the reason to continue fighting for what you want.
No one can be who you are, only you…are you. Anyone can be a vet, no one can have your unique perception, anyone can go to ireland, only you can feel the way you do about wanting to go.
So remember, you are powerful, and you dont need to give up over these issues.
Now….if you are actually hurting for a lot of other reasons also, please keep reaching out, talk to people about why you feel so insecure….i bet you are beautiful inside and out.
maybe if you want to die then everyone else will?
{[i’m in a really foul mood and you should probably just ignore me.]}