Hi,
Since i was the age of 12, i got depressed and i still am today, (23 years now). I tried around 6 suicides attempts but all failed.
And the worse part is, my parents and friends dont even know after 11 years that i am depressed. They dont have a single clue.. Parents always know whats wrong with their children. Dont they care or am i hiding it to well
9 comments
my mother never sees my pain either so its not you… you may be really good at hiding your struggles but your parents should at least pick up a sense of your pain… have you ever told them any of your problems???? maybe you should try…
Healing will meaning trusting
Trusting will mean sharing
Sharing will mean risking
Risking will mean growing
Growing will mean changing
Changing will mean healing
Peace
My mom never knew I was depressed for four years. I hid it really well plus she didn’t really care.
How did u fail 6 times?
Procel – Failing at suicide is not a failure. It is actually VERY hard to do. Have survived 5 attempts, 2 very big overdoses and my life saved in hospital. Even the doctors cannot understand it. Pills do not work, unless you are lucky.
Anoniem – It is easy to hide your feelings, but I have also found that people sometimes do not want to see what is straight in front of them. I have sat there and people talk to me, and the whole time all I have thought is “I want to die” They walk away and they know nothing.
But surely with proper plannings failure shouldnt be possible? i dont know obviously ive never suceeded or tried but unless there was freak circumstances, failure of a well thought out method is impossible?
Sure, you can jump from a skyscraper or throw yourself in front of a train or from a very high bridge. I do not want to affect others, so jumping in front of trains or cars is not for me. OD, I am a doctor, so know exactly what should work and even with that knowledge and the obscene amounts of sleeping pills and anti emetics (to stop vomiting) has not helped and even the ER and psych doctors cannot understand I am still alive.
I think with every attempt there is an inherent risk of it not working. There are websites that clearly show that even the most well thought out calculated attempts can fail. Even gunshot attempts have like a 3-5% survival rate, sometimes even as high as 16%. Just saying that it is not quite as easy as it seems. It also takes a lot of desperation to get to the stage of seriously attempting, and not just a cry for help. Totally different things.
My parents had no idea either. But once they found out they cared. I hid it well, you maybe hiding it well too. Once you feel ready maybe you should try talking to them about it.
Would that not give u a feeling of invulnarability, incapable of dying?