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11 Years

Advice, Information, and.. maybe…help?

by Cardio_respiratory_stop
written by Cardio_respiratory_stop

Hello! I’m writing this in order to get some help, and be sure that i’ve made the right decision.

I wrote this to another person on another website: <<< I feel the same as you do/did “Every day I wake up feeling terrible! I don’t want to die,i just don’t want to live like this.” and i felt it since i was your age 17/18 and then i was dreaming about killing myself but i talked to others and i was to weak to take my own life so i said that i’ll wait, that things will get better, two years have passed and i had a big […]

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why do i deserve my life

by punkin
written by punkin

I don’t understand why I feel this way. It’s like no matter what I do I am still a pathetic worthless piece of trash who deserves to be beaten and raped. I am 22 now and my life should be better I haven’t talked to my step dad in 7 years. I thought I was better now. Last spring I was raped by two strangers and ever since I have been lashing out at people. I want them to hurt me because if I star it then the only person I have to blame is me… The down side is that now I just want […]

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Why me???

by indi98
written by indi98

I have been bullied the best part of 11 years!!! i think that bully’s are disgusting and cowardly…. I’m constantly told to kill myself as I’m not worth anything and I’ve been hit, I get abusive texts and phone calls on a daily basis……. What’s the point? I have so many scars that I will never forget any of this my scars are emotional and physical…. I quit on trying to please everyone else when I can’t be myself…….x

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My Angel

by drowninginsorrow
written by drowninginsorrow

Today has been better than yesterday was for her. No yelling, no fighting, no hurtful words were propelled at her.

 

Last night was rough on her. She had to meet her regulars, some nice, some not so much. There was always those men who were very aggressive and since they were paying they felt entitled to anything they wanted. The girl would stop arguing after the first hit, she would stop resisting and let herself float into subspace waiting till it was over. The girl would awaken with noticeably black bruises up and down her arms, her neck, and down her legs.

 

She is afraid to go home, she […]

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Maybe it’s time

by dtw569
written by dtw569

I’m pretty sure I am mentally ill. I can’t explain exactly how I feel other than it hurts all the time. I’m just losing my mind. My wife of 11 years left me and I don’t know how to keep going. I know that I’m supposed to want to live for my kids but I can’t help feeling that they would be better off without me.  I have been made out to be a horrible person, and maybe I am.  I don’t know how to deal with how I feel and she didn’t either which is why we are apart.  I just don’t see the […]

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My life story… Kinda depressing…

by Nohappiness
written by Nohappiness

I kinda made this profile because I wanted to tell someone my life story… And I don’t have anyone close to me that I want to share it with. So I am writing it here, anonymously.

But let’s take it from the beginning:
I’m a boy from Denmark, 19 years old at the moment, but that is not where my story starts. My story starts all the way back when I was a child. You see, I have always been bullied, first by the bigger kids in my kindergarten, then by the kids in my class in school. Therefore my parents quickly decided to teach me […]

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My Story Part 1 (History.. My Past)

by Rosegirl
written by Rosegirl

I don’t quite understand why it feels so much easier to write about my problems then to say them out loud I suppose it’s like my thoughts are my own little secret I mean that’s what your mind is for right? A space where you can detach yourself from reality if only for a few moments and go somewhere.. be it a memory or completely make up.. But no amount of day dreaming will save me from myself, Let me start off by saying I am now 19 years old to be 20 in August and have suffered from clinical depression for 4 years, I […]

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4 am…..

by matb
written by matb

It’s 4 am can’t sleep , haunted by my past unable to let it go . Keep thinking that there is only one way to make everything go away . Deep down inside I tell myself to just survive the night , it will get better tomorrow . But the thoughts keep flooding my mind , the old friends that I pushed out my life , the family members that I never talk to . Telling myself that if I let no one love me , or get close to me then it wouldn’t be like I’m hurting anyone but myself .
But […]

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After 11 Years Of Hell

by nat
written by nat

After over a decade of trying to slog on through this bleak existence, and being guilt-tripped continuously into persevering, I am all out of stamina for the fight anymore.  Too many things, too many broken emotions, too many medical tags stuck onto this tortured, agony-racked being.  I don’t even think those closest to my heart would begrudge me seeking eternal peace and relief from this cruel world, if they could understand the pain I go through on a daily basis.

 

I have had 3 botched overdoses with different meds, and tried hanging once but the cord stretched too much, and contemplated stepping off the roof of […]

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Living Is Hard To Do : Depression

by roojay13
written by roojay13

 

     As I’ve spoken about in previous posts, I’ve had depression, anxiety and paranoid delusions for most of my life and it’s not easy to live with, especially the depression.

     For me, at 11 years old it began with a deep sadness that just never seemed to lift.  It spiralled pretty quickly and I began to spend an awful lot of time alone in my bedroom.  I felt as though I was the loneliest person in the world because nobody could really relate to what I was feeling.  The thing that got to me most was that some people would say things like, “you’re […]

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What is happening to me?

by ellenish
written by ellenish

I’m a single mom and my whole world has collapsed around me.  I was laid off from work and cannot find another job.  The bank foreclosed on my home.  My only vehicle broke down and was towed to an impound lot.  My mother passed away and I couldn’t afford to go to her funeral – my own mother’s funeral.  I’ll NEVER forgive myself!

I have no money at all…none!  I can’t even get myself to the food pantry without a car.  On top of everything else,  I caught the flu, my washer machine flooded my home, the microwave started on fire, the garage door broke and […]

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My Story – abridged version

by otherworldliness
written by otherworldliness

So I am about to turn 30 in about a month. Looking back at the past 17 years of my life (of which, parts of 12 years spent on struggling with depression/suicidal thoughts), it has been a roller-coaster ride. Here are some highlights. I don’t expect you to be interested in my life story, but if you have time, read on!

 

17 years ago, I migrated to Texas, and started in an ultra conservative high school. Language barrier was one, but being bullied non stop for not speaking English well was another. It was even worse being bullied for trying to learn English. My response  was […]

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soon

by bug
written by bug

I’ve been fitghing against suicide since I was 11 years old, 5 failed attempts with a difficult internal war against hurting my family in my mind. Each time, under the water or out in the freezing snowy fields, I eventually find myself in a state of bliss, which eventually goes off, the numbness and stangnacy that I see as my only possible future just dances its way back into my life and I start all over again.

And once again I’m here on this edge looking for a way to do this without harming those I love. It’s not a matter of weather or not […]

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My first thoughts of suicide occurred when I was 10

by imjustready
written by imjustready

I used to have thoughts of hiding under a car tire, and waiting for a family member to back up. I just couldn’t go through with it. Through the past 11 years of my life I’ve been completely miserable. There has been a series of unfortunate events that lead me to where I am today: living in a shitty apartment alone, no friends, hardly talk to family, education going down the toilet, and terrible insomnia. I’ve been doing some research on suicide methods, and I want to go via ********. But, it seems like there are many failed attempts. Anyone have any advice?

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My Broken Family

by Life Death
written by Life Death

About a week ago I found out how fucked up my family is, my mums an actress so she goes on tours alot and my dad is a psychotherapist who has been trying to get his quilification for 11 years!

My dad is a lazy alchoholic but he dosent hit me, but he manipulates my emotions until i’m crying in your room for an hour or 4. My mum hates him because she has payed about 250,000 punds on his training so we’re broke. My brother ignores it by doing working and other activities. My dad is very….. destructive, of people and my stuff. He has […]

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My Life Story, I’ll Never Be Good Enough

by PainHiddenWithASmile
written by PainHiddenWithASmile

I’m 19 years old and ever since I can remember, I felt rejected. My father did not show any love. Instead, he decided to have multiple affairs and leave me and my mother every night to satisfy his sick needs. How can he choose random females over his family?! I can remember one day trying to be involved in one of my fathers and older sisters conversations..he looked at me and told me to get away. Not having that love and affection from my father sent me out seeking it. At 11 years old I invited these 2 boys over which were friends but i […]

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I let the mask slip and someone in

by Darkpheonix
written by Darkpheonix

My first post on here after reading the posts for a while.

I let someone in for the first time in years, 11 to be exact, but now I feel worse than ever! I’m 22 and since I was 11 I’ve dealt with feelings of being worthless and being made to feel like I was unwanted, by friends and family and even people I didn’t know. I’ve dealt with being alone for 11 years, I had come to terms with it and even though feelings of depression and suicide would take over from time to time I had found my own ways of dealing with […]

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I don’t know why I was born

by depressionsux
written by depressionsux

I am the third and youngest child in my family. My eldest brother David has never been nice to me no matter how hard I have tried, and recently he told me I am no longer his sister. My other brother Timothy was born with brain damage and got all of the attention from my parents. I was always ignored and my parents never realised I have had depression for a very long time. Even now that I have been diagnosed, they still don’t believe me. Of course it’s okay for my brother David to be depressed but not me.

My so called friends were never […]

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they dont know

by anoniem
written by anoniem

Hi,

Since i was the age of 12, i got depressed and i still am today, (23 years now). I tried around 6 suicides attempts but all failed.
And the worse part is, my parents and friends dont even know after 11 years that i am depressed. They dont have a single clue.. Parents always know whats wrong with their children. Dont they care or am i hiding it to well

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Just 2 Tired

by Just2Tired
written by Just2Tired

Well… Here I am at 25. More confused than when I was 14…. Lost for 11 years. Wandering, somewhere out there alone. In a world full of trauma and pain. Not understanding where I am going, or even what I want to do. My father who was my best friend died in an accident. A month before my birthday. Right before Father’s day… My mother met an addict and decided that she wanted a different life. So when she got out of jail, she moved out of state and gave her children up to be wards of the state…

 

The rest of my family disappeared as […]

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