First of all I would like to point out I left school about a year ago and I have been looking for a job and getting nowhere, had a couple of interviews but had no luck with that.
I live in a tiny village where I dont know many people so it means getting family to drive me 11 miles to town so I can meet my mates. Only problem is all my mates are guys, I don’t get on with girls. So because im only really interested in getting drunk Its usually with a few guys every week along with my older brother who drives. Im 17 so underage and anyway I just feel like my life is going down the drain. I sit at home all day watching jeremy kyle and then on the weekend i get so drunk i wake up with regrets and btw other people buy my drinks. So ive ended up having 3sums and going back to guys houses. That was untill one night i was out and i left the pub to meet my mate but on the way about 20 boys approched me and cut a long story short i got mugged and raped by 2 of them. After that i was teffified to leave my house for weeks but then you know what it just didnt stop me from going out and getting drunk again so i went to a party a few weeks ago but i ended up drinking far too much that i ended up passed out in my own sick and i was unconcsious so gave me a firemans lift and took me outside where people had to put me in the recovery posistion so i almost died basically it was actually worse than it sounds so after that i said ‘ im never drinking again’ the next weekend i went out drinking again, nothing can stop me. And this weekend my family are away so i had a secret party with boys round and ended up having sex with some guy and the next day i couldnt even walk. Now hes becoming all attached and obsessed with me.
But here is where my problem lies. Even though i know drinking is bad and makes me behave in a sluty way i still cant stop and i dont know where my life is heading. Even in school i would skive off and get drunk and end up passed out in fields by myself or i would take alcohol to school in a bottle. I even took it to college and left after the first week. I dont know what to do with my life, It seems so pointless and sad. Btw i had councelling many times and they have now crossed me offf the list. I drink because i feel so confident and i can talk to anybody and people even say they like me more when im drunk. I smoke aswell and i would do drugs aswell which is just wrong but Its like i just dont care about my life and people try to change me but they just cant. What an earth can i do to change my life around, i cant even get a job at tesco. I often wish i was dead to be honest.
2 comments
you’ve figured out that you have a drinking problem. &from what I am reading, you drink because you are depressed, it’s the only substitute to make you feel like something. I think you should go into rehab it would help alot.
You do sound very perceptive,
Unfortunately alcohol is a depressive and will make you feel worse in the long run.
Underneath all of your feelings lies your reasons for drinking.
Even though you have had trouble with counselors you still deserve help.
Don’t give up!
Peace