Cordless

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P.S. For everyone who saw the post title and thought of Monty Python and The Holy Grail…. I love you.
Here, have a big giant hug.

Or a nickel.
Whichever is most useful to you at the moment.

I was telling someone on sp awhile back that I’ve gone from being computer-illiterate to having a desktop, then a laptop, then a tablet, then a smartphone.
I said in about 5 years (if I’m still around) there will probably be technology where they can shoot a chip up my nose and lodge it in my brain and I can send email just by thinking about it.

That could make for some awkward moments before we learned to separate the normal train-of-thought stuff from the email message.

“Dear Susie,
(It is way too hot in here and I forgot deodorant this morning.) Hi, how are you? I […]

It’s a holiday weekend here in the U.S.

The roads are bogged down with traffic and people are everywhere,  like ants invading a slice of watermelon left unguarded by a careless picnicker.

For people (like me) with social anxiety and boundary issues, these are stressful times.

I feel like I need to surround myself with a force field of barbed wire, with yellow police tape that says “Do not cross.”

I also imagine having a Taser on the end of a really long stick, so I can zap the ones who wander a bit too close.

Of course I wouldn’t zap any of you people here at sp.

Probably.

In the meantime, […]

Today was kind of a weird day, the best/worst was what happened about an hour ago.

I was doing my usual stint at one of the wifi spots.  Hurt more than usual today, so I laid low while waiting for the pain meds to work.

There was a guy sitting at one of the other tables.

I didn’t pay much attention to him until I got up to use the restroom.  On my way back, doing my usual careful slow walk with the cane, I happened to glance up.  His expression hit me.

Disgust.  Contempt.  Hate.  Revulsion.

A couple days ago, Hazy challenged us to write a post where we directly addressed three SP members and let them know how important they are to us.

I decided to speak my tributes in little separate audioposts instead, just because it feels more personal that way.

It was hard for me to pick just three people, since you’re all important. So I will have a few more than three; in fact I have three TIMES three, but please don’t feel bad if your name isn’t here. You are still important anyway.

Whiskered-Fish:

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/whiskeredfish.mp3
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Hazy Day Sunflower:

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/hazy.mp3
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AlanOminous:

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/alanominous.mp3
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Rocketman:

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/rocketman-.mp3
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JiminyCrispies:

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/jiminycrispies.mp3

One of my bucket list things was to figure out how to use a smartphone.

I am both proud and amazed to say that this is the very first sp post I have done on my new phone!

It’s still in the frustrating stage.

Skydiving naked would probably have been easier.

But still, yay me.

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I hope it’s ok to post this.
The context of the cartoon (dentist office) should make it acceptable.
We SP-ers can silently cringe at the alternative interpretation.

Big storms over us tonight.

If you read my “Wind And Panic” post back in February, you may remember why stuff like this gives me panic attacks.

So far so good, though it’s definitely a rough night.

I don’t have a storm shelter or a cellar or basement, and my home is the type that is notoriously unsafe in situations like this.

So here I am in the car again.

It’s the best I can do.  I realize it’s still not the #1 safest option, but then again, I’m posting this on a suicide site so it sorta makes sense.

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http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/raining-hard.mp3

Funny how that makes things easier.

Non-depressed person: […]

My voice sounds awfully tired right now.

I need a hug and a comforting beverage.

And possibly some sleep.  Eventually.

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/quiet-night.mp3

I’ve got a bucket list of things I want to do during the time I have left. Some are silly fun things, some are more meaningful.

1. Learn to sing at least 30 digits of pi… in GERMAN. Post the audio file on SP.

2. Get a smartphone and learn how to actually use it.  (Update: phone has been purchased and activated.  I’ve installed 2 apps, received a text, sent an email, and did a post on sp.  Here.)

3. Drive somewhere outside my comfort zone, (At least 6-hour round trip), take pictures.  (UPDATE: Done! Here are the pictures!)

4. Try grapefruit-jalapeno vodka
(update:  DONE.  […]

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In case the text is too tiny for you to read, it’s a Dr. Seuss-type thing, and it says:

“All alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
You’ll be quite a lot.”

I was sitting at my usual table in one of the wifi spots, keeping to myself like the quiet hermit I am, and one of the employees brought me a free chocolate shake.

How nice.

Sometimes little things like that are better than a whole bottle of antidepressants.

And slightly less lethal.