I’m tired of trying
I’m tired of failing
I’m tired of not having friends
I’m tired of being to sick to work
I’m tired of cutting
I’m tired of being down
I’m tired of hearing voices
I’m tired of having epilepsy
I’m tired of having meanth Heath problems
I’m tired of having NF1
I’m tired of fighting
I’m tired of not being loved
I’m tired of being tuck for a mug
I’m tired of being lonely
I’m tired of taking meds
But most off all I’m tired of living
Hi I’m a 25 years old living in England I’ve been Self-harming for the past 11 years and would love to stop I’ve tired everything to stop even getting a tat on my arm to but that did not even work I was wondering what have people done to stop self-harming thanks
I’ve been manic for the past 2+ weeks but on a major come down and feel absolutely crap I saw my cpn yesterday when I was bad with my voices and his coming again on Friday.
I’m so fed up with how I am I just car’t deal with it I don’t mind being minic as I’m happy but that the only time I am
I’ve got a loving family and bf who cares I just don’t want to hurt them but if things don’t change I know i will I’ve suffered from mental illness since I was 15 I’m now 25 I just don’t […]
It’s been 6 mounts since I last posted on here I’ve been trying to stay positive and trying to move on with my life I got a new partner. Who some what understands my mental Heath. What’s nice I stared volunteering at mind, a charity for mental Heath. And I’m going away with my family in 3 weeks. But I still car’t beat my thoughts of suicide and I rock bottom lows. I’ve been manic for the past week with suicidal thoughts (dose anyone els get suicidal thoughts when they are manic.
This may be my last post not because I’m going to kill myself. As my drs and social services don’t think I can cope anymore and they are right. They think my mental health condition is not manageable in the Community or like a psychiatric hospital. So they looking at sending me to a therapeutic Community. I really don’t want to go but got no Choice over the matter. I know I cart cope with the life I’ve been given feeling suicidal is just one off many problems I’ve got to deal with on a day to day basis. I wish I could be a […]
After spending 4 weeks on a Psychiatric unit/ward I don’t feel much better then I did before I went in, feel a wee bit better but not much.
I really don’t know what I’m going to do with myself I still want to die but at the same time I want to get better, As anyone fellt these emotions at the same time before? I feel that it’s too late for me I car’t see my life with out depression and psychosis.
I see all the people that are fighting for their lives with cancer or other terminal illnesses, And who wants to live. Then they […]
I just don’t know anymore I’m lost and beaten down I’m tired off fighting this it never gets better and if it doses it’s sort lived. I want to live in my dreams I don’t want to wake-up and face another day.
Well after another failed attempt on my life I’ve ended up back on a mental heath ward 25 miles from my own town. I cart do this again I cart stand it I cart do anythink right I cart even kill myself right. I’m lucky to be allowed my phone as the last time I was in hospital I was not. I’m Laying here thinking of away out but I don’t think it possible here and I don’t know how long I would have to stay here for.
I just cart take another day off how I am feeling it’s over 7 years now off the […]
I’ve not posted in some weeks now my life gone ever more down the Drain I’ve dropped out off college didn’t see the point anymore I’ve lost 2 good friends well they where my only friends they both we together it was all down too me being in love with one off them and to be fair they liked me as well and one drunken mistake later I lost 2 good friends and I was blamed well it was my fault.
I’ve been down for a very long time now I’ve just had it living a living hell what I call my life. On the 14th […]
I’ve stayed away from this website for some months now I was trying to make things in my life better but I was kidding myself I’m no much better then I was 2/3 months ago. my self-worth my soul are damaged and they are unrepairable I’m lost and homesick for a place that dose not exist I’ve tried to get on with life for my loved ones I’ve pretended to be well I cart stand to break my mothers heart anymore I don’t wont to hurt her and i know suicide is a permanent solution and they do say its for a temporary problem but […]
Hey I’ve not posted in almost 6 weeks i thought things was getting better but i was joking myself way would they I just cart see things every getting to where its a life worth living and fighting for
yesterday I had a phone call from my GP (DR’s) they said i had to go in right away to discourse my latest  blood test. when I  got I there  they saw me almost right away so basically I’ve got  deficiency in vitamin D,A,C,b12  i’m also anemia on top off all that the sodium and potassium  are low as well and i’ve been give a shit load off pills to help with this because i’m bulimic and have been for over 10 years with episodes of anorexic I kinder know this could happen but I’m not going to stop  i don’t think i can it been apart off […]
Today as been one off the best days I’ve had in months so far I feel there is hope for me I can give so much to this world. my CPN (community psychiatric nurse) don’t know if you have them in the us? but in the uk we do. Well he said that I will be starting counselling next week I’ve been waiting for this for months as they have  a very long waiting list in my area where I live. I still feel down I still fell like ending it. but it is less today then it as been its mead me think my […]
I did not end it last night I was moments away for it but thats down to two people my mother and a comment left on a post here. Yes i still got no hope I still want to die but I was in a very dark place yesterday. And if it was not for that post and my mother coming into my room and hugging me saying “I know your in pain but I love you and you can get through this” it almost broke my heart I can’t remember the last time she did that. so I’m going to try again for her. […]
⊗
Tonight the pain will stop.
I can not  hang on any longer.
It’s hard to bare the pain.
 I’ve lost all hope.
All I see is darkness.
They is no light in my life
 I’ve tried so hard.
To find hope and happiness
Just to face failure in every turn.
I’m lost and broken.
I’m unrepairable.
tomorrow will come.
but i’ll be gone.
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I’m trying to keep myself self for my mum and dad
 but it getting harder to do so
I wish this feeling could go away and stay away
I NEED HELP
but sometimes I cart see way
I’ve tried and tried but the feeling never goes away
I cart take much more  I cart even cry anymore I’m num but no longer afraid as I know it’s a matter off time to I ended it
I’ve  always know that I’m not destined to be here, As  long as I can remembered  I’ve not fitted In school,college,work,peers and family. I don’t feel like I belong, It does not help that my life as not be the easiest off ones, no one really gets me I don’t  really blame them. Who would want to get  love or care for me I’m worthless I’m better off removing myself form this world. I’ve tried to end this endless pain on a couple off times I’ve been unlucky to be find on all off the occasions. Some would say that its not my time I […]
Its coming up to 4-years sense we lost you bro I miss you so much, So much as happened in that time most off it as been for the bad after you died watching you take your last breath killed me inside.  it was not long before you Nan and Granddad went I’ve lost so many loved ones I could no longer cope with day to day I lost so much my job my home most off my mates don’t want know anymore and the man I was meant to marry but life like that it gives and takes just seems it takes more […]