Dear Brother

Its coming up to 4-years sense we lost you bro I miss you so much, So much as happened in that time most off it as been for the bad after you died watching you take your last breath killed me inside.  it was not long before you Nan and Granddad went I’ve lost so many loved ones I could no longer cope with day to day I lost so much my job my home most off my mates don’t want know anymore and the man I was meant to marry but life like that it gives and takes just seems it takes more form me then most. I’m losing all hope again and i don’t want to go down the road I’ve been down before as I young lad I don’t want to hurt are family anymore I don’t think they can take anymore from me as you know I’ve tried to end the pain in the past but you was there then even if it was just over the phone I’ve tried to hurt myself so many time sense you been gone but all it got me was a long hospital admission.  and you know how much i hated going into them. all i ever  want in the never ending hell what i call my life to end. all i can think about is are mother how much it would hurt her but some time I don’t think right i’m one step from breaking  one step to the losing it. i just want my old self back but that lad as long died all what reminds is sadness and loneliness  and a longing to be at peace