I’m done, this is it. I will end this all tonight. I just need to choose between tylenol poisoning or suspension hanging. Which would be better?
I’m too sick and tired to go through the whys and all the childhood traumas and everything that’s wrong right now. All you need to know is that I’m feeling unexplainably awful and can’t cope anymore.
Death is the only thing left to ease the pain. I just can’t do this anymore. Tonight’s the night.
Hi, it’s been a long time since I last wrote in here, I’m sorry about that. But I’m back now and I hope I’m still welcome here.
I think it’s time to catch the bus and end this all tonight or some day soon. I’m just too tired struggling every day. Too tired being invisible. Too tired overall.
I used to find writing easing the pain but now I’m outta words. Nothing can give me a slight ease from this pain anymore. I’m just all alone in this neverending darkness and can’t find a way out.
I can’t keep struggling […]
Do you have a father? I know everyone has, but does your dad love you? Does he remember your birthday? Does he remember, how old you are? Does he want you a good life? Or does he even want you to live?
Mine doesn’t.
Mine was ready to kill me.
Mine values beer over me.
My mum left my dad when I was 2 years, because dad threatened her and my lives. He said he’d kill mum. And when mum left, dad wouldn’t want her to have me, so he wanted to slice me in two pieces, one for him and one for mum. Or just kill me so […]
Nothing matters anymore. I’ll end this freakin’ shit on Monday. I already bought all my remerons and tomorrow I’ll buy some alcohol. It should do the job.
Seriously, nothing matters. I was once told: “you always feel this and that and it never matters a damn thing.” And now everything I do makes my bf who I live with, upset. If I feel bad about him calling me names, or leaving all the household choirs for me, or him being in the internet with his cell when we’re doing something together, I am a drama queen who’s always mad about everything he does. I have to feel […]
So I guess life is about finding a partner to share your life with, being the partner for somebody and building a life on a relationship, maybe having a family. Sounds nice. Sounds like something I’d like to achieve.
So my life should be about perfect. I just got two A:s so I’m a good student, I live together with my bf and everything seems good.
Let me just say.
Fuck this shit.
Two of his friends came over today. The other one offered me some candy and I said “well… thanks.” What did my bf say? “You don’t have to be such a moodkiller.” Yeah. A moodkiller. And […]
I don’t know what to live for anymore. My life goes the same pattern every single day and I think it’ll go the same way every single day ’til I die. I wake up, go to school, do some homework, do some household choirs, watch some tv, go to bed. In the future school will switch to work.
I mean… No day has meaning and every day is a struggle. So why continue? I know I’ll never get completely through my traumas and I’ll never be truly happy. (And yes I know that happiness isn’t a destination, more like a way of life but still I […]
Hi. I used to be here by the name of Anae but lost both my password and the e-mail I used when logging in. Anyway, I’ve been good for awhile. I’ve got a boyfriend (for a year now) and now we live together. However, he’s at home now, he’ll come home the day after tomorrow.
I want to tell you my story and why being alone is so hard and devostating for me. I’ll tell it my way, in a short sentences because it’s hard for me to write about this. So please understand me. I don’t ask you to read this, I just want this […]
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