AnnieQ

Day by day, time seems to be going unbearably slowly, but looking at the big picture, the years went by without me noticing.
I’ve turned 21 recently, and accomplished very little, almost nothing since I got out of high school and I feel a lot of shame about it, but not in a motivating way,

It’s impossible not to think how I will never be able to be the person I could have been because I’ve wasted my time.Or should I say that it’s been stolen away from me? I lost it? Being stuck in the past, I’ve been rewinding years of my life, and […]

As if

I want somebody, anybody to be by my side… Yet I know I couldn’t stand anybody who is an actual human being getting too close.

That’s because this ‘somebody, anybody’ in these two sentences are not referring to the same thing.

I’d better say: I long for some kind of meaning, some kind of connection, a way to escape this feeling of solitude and despair,of wanting to die every day all day long, but I know this can’t be achieved by mingling with other people. I’ve always been alone somehow.  I’m at peace with the fact it will stay that way. Rationally, I actually prefer being […]

Always, ever since I was little kid, I knew that for me to survive in this world, I must change myself in order to make money.

Up to a certain point, the more money you have, the more of your own problems you can get rid of (I know that money doesn’t buy happiness, but as a poor college student that is stuck with one of my parents in a house that is falling apart, I know that poverty sure does bring misery)

And for that same reason, to avoid misery, you have to turn to things that are ‘practical’.

I always loved ‘unpractical’ things, at least it’s […]