Who wants to be more deader than me?
What’s the use?
Things are progressing not for the better but for the worse. My time draws near. Then people will hear from me no more.
“Do not go into that dark place
Fear it, fear the embrace that awaits you
For you must know
It touches once and then will not let go”
It’s inside of me destroying anything I could ever be. It’s taken everything from me. I remember when it first took me over. I remember when and where. I was but 7 and my screams awoke my parents but It was already too late. The beast was already inside. I must find a way to kill it. I know that I will go with it but I don’t fucking care anymore. 
It has won.
I fantasize that I could someway remove everyone’s demons and be the one to die for you. A negative Jesus so to speak. The one that could heal everyone’s pain and take that trip to hell for you. Your personal Sin Eater. Everyone’s emissary to hell.
I would not do this out of love for you but out of the self loathing. All that pain in itself would make me king demon. Bleeding your pain and sweating your tears. Your Negative Jesus. Your sineater. Your Negative savior.
Went into the back patio this morning to smoke a cigarette when I noticed a small little bird on the floor. almost featherless. I assumed him dead so I put him on the table for later disposal. I’m out hours later to cut the grass and I look at him and he’s moving and breathing which shocked and surprised me, so I immediately put him back in the nest ( I pray little guy makes it as fiercely he struggled to live. I pray it does ).
Such a beautiful place
I wish I could voluntarily be sent to war. There my end would mean something. Death with honor and purpose. Giving my life to save other more worthy lives.
Another week and still no change. How long must this go on? I’m so tired, so very very tired. When can I lay down and sleep forever? Just drift off and dream. I can finally be something other than the stupid monster.
What does it mean when you just suddenly start to cry? Yeah you are aware of your situation but are the tears really necessary? Fucking crazy clown ass. It’s disgusting
Drug commercial just listed “death” as a possible side affect.
Seems totally legit.
Ask your doctor if possible death is right for you..
I remember when I used to be proud of myself. I used to be allot of things. What I am today I’m ashamed of. So much so that I seek death. An end to my pathetic existence. Drugs and alcohol just excelerated the process. I’m a ghost of what I once was.
I’m so ashamed
God! Let me die already!!!!
Hitting a wall at 120mph seems like a good idea right about now
Though we find ourselves alone in our pain and blackness we are many. Funny how demons push and guide us individually, but we are many. Alone in the dark we cry for deaths sweet release, but we are many. Hopeless am I here by myself, but we are many.
We are legion
“I can’t wait to get inside you,” I flirtatiously whisper to a coffin.
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