BlueDiamond

It looks like I may still get a job, but I made sure to fail the interview. I told him that I was worried about being sexually harassed like they would have co-workers not doing their jobs but following me around, which I has happened, and he said the his employees aren’t like that and they work hard. If it’s not the co-workers bothering me, it’ll be the customers. I doubt anyone believes me when I tell them about being sexually harassed, bet it’s all in my head, just my huge inflated ego thinking that all the men want me. “sigh”

I then told him that […]

(Get to the last two paragraphs, if you want to hear about the fairy)

I have a stupid job interview. Fuck! I don’t want it. I’m dropping out of society. In 11 months, they’ll drop me like a hot sack of potatoes, well this job is seasonal, but even then, I’m going to be harassed and hit on by my co-workers just like most of my jobs. I hate people, hate them. I like being trapped in-between my walls. BTW, I. Don’t. Exist.

I ask my mom for advice because I wanted to do this job for my dad, but then I don’t really want it. My […]

I had a dream about a female T-rex as I took my nap. Dunno, if it was just an image, or a dream that I forgot.
As of 2015, I gained this interest in the T-rex. I have a T-rex plushie, a figurine, and a coloring page hanging in my room. I use to have a friend tell me that she was psychic and that she could feel her spirit animal was a bear. I feel no energy towards the bear, but I do towards the T-rex. Spirit animals suppose to be inspiration to draw from. I feel this bold aggressive raw instinctual energy. This […]

My last post was deleted, fine, but I feel that if I don’t have a post at once a day, I’ll go crazy.

I have decided to let my dreams go, and I feel at peace, still sad, but at peace. I feel like I have made the right decision of never having kids. Not because the world think that I shouldn’t have kids, but because of what I know the world would do to them. My children may end up following in my footsteps of failure and misery, and I couldn’t live with myself if that was the case.

My only motivation to make something out […]

I feel sad about the idea of losing you guys. I read your posts about how some you guys already have a gun, and I really like talking to you guys, however this a suicide web-site, and I am one of you. It would hypocritical if I didn’t want to guys to go, but I wanted to go, maybe this is karma for the grief I caused for others, while I was being suicidal.

Also if anyone is interested, I would love to find someone interested in reading the Transfomers More Than Meets the Eye comic book by James Robert, so I can discuss the comic […]

For a while, i have researched the term Starseed. A starseed is someone who exists on earth, but their soul may have originated from another planet, star system, galaxy, dimension, or parallel universe. Yeah, it’s pretty much the otherkin shit. There have been reasonable psychological explanations such as the person suffering from schizophrenia, or suffering effects from what a transgender person would suffer from expect it has to do with species instead of sex. These psychological reasons have been explained for otherkin, and not for starseed. I don’t really hold strongly to the whole starseed, indigo, or rainbow people, or at least the logical side […]

I saw my teacher today. She told me that she prays for me every night. I’m so self absorbed that I forgot that she included that multiple times in her e-mails. I had to go to school to give her a medical excuse. The last assignment of mine, she gave was a 98. I tend to forget that other people can have multiple layers. She told that her sister died at 44, and she had a dream about her saying that she was ok, and that four people that committed suicide. She says that it’s an selfish act because you don’t realize the effect it […]

I was just finished watching a cringe compilation of where this guy likes to have sex with his vehicle, and it is cringy. Dude looks like a creep, and it was weird watching him kiss his car. One of these days, I might end up on a cringe compilation.

I have no friends, and never been in a relationship. Can’t even keep my friends for over a year just like my jobs. Relationships are a waste of time. Men only approach for sex, and well I solved that problem. Avoid men! Don’t look at them and if they come towards you, go the other way. […]

Thanks to a wonderful post I found. I now have an art project in mind. I feel a little bit useful, but most of the time I’m useless. Why am I still living? Death never seems to come to those who want it, why? What is the grim reaper’s problem? I don’t have a job. No employer wants my dumbass, and I hate him, her, or whatever it is. Tried to join the military, and they don’t want my dumbass either.

I feel like a parasite, just consume money and food from others. If I was gone no one would have to waste their tax dollars […]

Surprise, that a man hater like myself would support an this all men organization. It stands for men going their own way. It can range from men leaving society that they believe carters to women to men avoiding having personal relationships with women. It’s hard for me to find a strong definition for MGTOW, but it’s pretty much men avoiding women except for maybe the pump and dump. Their beliefs can range to women don’t love men but use them as resources like parasites, women are afraid of MGTOW because they can’t put men back on the plantation, or women are children. Some of these […]

This morning I grabbed my 400 pills of Tylenol PM and threw them into a blender. Took a small sip of it, and immediately spit it out. That was some nasty shit! I saved my suicide smoothie in my closet, just in case, just in case.
Should I do it? Overdose on Tylenol? I heard that it’s a painful death, but it may be worth it. The reason I blended them was so I wouldn’t throw the pills up. The taste is so awful.

(Warning: I going to spill inappropriate and cringe worthy details about myself, but hey it’s the internet, so read with caution!)

Anyway topic […]

I told myself that I write this, but I don’t know how to explain. Plus, my energy has been low. Normally, I don’t have low energy. Here it goes:

The second thing I hate the most are managers like we can’t be friends. If I was drowning and someone who is manager came to save me. I would jump back in the water. Let me share some truth about success in the job market. It isn’t about hard work, isn’t about showing up on time, school, or doing volunteer work. Nope, it’s about being a part of the clique. You gotta fit in. Fake everything about […]

Once a day, I will come on this web-site and ***** about something.

I will never get married. I’m 25 already, and never been in a relationship. Men only see me as a sex object, literally they ruin my life, no matter how much I avoid them. I knew that this was my fate after high school, but I wouldn’t lose hope. I can forgive the men, and be fine with never being married because why would I want to look into his dead cold eyes everyday? I want to become a choice mom, rather be a mom then a wife for some useless piece of […]

Its just the darn truth. I say or do something and nobody cares unless it’s sexual, which I don’t do. Oh the horror!

The usual, I’m new. I read some of the posts and seen the artwork, and I liked them. I found some intelligent liked minded people, though I feel smart and stupid at the the same time. Sooooo as the title stated, I need a friend, a single friend.

I’m not very sociable, in fact crowds can stress me out, and I had have people try to assembly me into a group and its fails. I feel very different from everyone like I was meant to do something big or important, but I feel like a failure. My mom loves me, but even I feel alienated from […]