I dunno if there is, if I am honest I never thought there is. The only issue is that if there is no afterlife then my baby isn’t there and can’t forgive me. But if there is an afterlife then my baby might be there and I can go and be with my little one.
I want to be with my baby. I want to be forgiven for what I did! I feel like I can’t move on until I’m forgiven.
A couple of days ago i met my ex who had had the abortion. We haven’t really spoken about it since it happened and so when i brought it up it was a bit of a touchy subject. She had told a friend about it and they had advised her to write a letter to the baby and just say how she was feeling, she never had though.
We decided we would write one together. None of us knew what to say though and so we just sat for a while. Then we wrote ‘sorry’! That’s all i could say at first but then we got […]
I just spent the whole day at work sittin oan my arse at my desk silently greetin’ to myself. Trying to hide the tears from my boss and getting absolutely nae work done! There really was no point getting out of bed this morning!
I couldn’t take my mind off the abortion, and what’s more the radio kept on debating about it and it’s bloody morality!
It wis a right nightmare o’ a day so now i’m goin tae the shop getting myself some cold beer and drinking the rest ah the day away!
I’m sick fed up o feelin like this i just go from […]
Come on baby do you think it’s good to feel
Like I’m lying here swimming in memories
I fear God because everything dies babe
Got a gun in the back of my Car
A spasm of good sense is making my eye twitch
I’ve had enough on your consolation.
I’m drowning caught in a shit tide
Tape my face to the inside of love
Nothing to eat but fingers in the back seat
Well i’ve met God and he had nothing to say to me
I pray to god that you’re right before my eyes,
Bathed in white light with halos in your eyes.
Don’t wanna waste no […]
I’ve been cutting myself more and more recently and i am becoming addicted to it. At work today all i could think about was getting home for lunch and cutting myself! So thats what i did, on my ankle, Â and it felt so much better! But it hurts like fuck now and every time i walk the wound opens up and starts to bleed again. The worst thing is i like to see the cut, i like to look at it as if it is an achievement or something! I really think i’m becoming addicted! I was convinced to through away my razors so i […]
You got to go there to come back! Problem is some kent the fuckin map away wi them. Now this kent is lost with no way back! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKÂ FUCKÂ FUCK!
and this shit hole of a fuckin chicken town doesn’t fuckin help, everyone walking past like they don’t know they are alive! Well i won’t be having that issue for long!!!
FUCK IT!
(pardon the french)
Black Rose and VacatedHappiness thank you for chatting. Hope i could help even a bit. Speaking to you guys helped me cope tonight.
Cheers
Ken that way when your head is all over the shope, your heart is beating like it’s goin out of fashion, your struggling to breath and all you can think about is topping yersel? apparently it’s a mix of anxiety and depression, accordin to my psychiatrist. It’s pretty damn difficult ta deal with and these pills are supposed to be helping, but do they fuck!
Anyway i found a way of dealing with it! I went to a bridge over a dual carriageway round fae my house and looked over the edge, had a few ciggies and thought about jumping. For some reason when i thought […]
About 3/4 Months ago my my girlfriend of the time got pregnant (it was mine) and we had an abortion. We decided that we we were too young and as we were both starting careers we decided it was the better thing (or this is what we told ourselves afterwards). The truth is there was no discussion, when she found it she text me to say she was pregnant then next thing i know she was on her way to the doctor and had started proceedings. After the abortion we kind of stopped talking like we used to and became really depressed, we stopped having […]
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