BrokenAngel8

Freshman Year: Happy, Carefree, Feeling Confident In My Major, In A Relationship, Feeling Hopeful About My Future, Energetic.

Now: Miserable, Depressed, Broken Even Though I’m In Therapy, Constantly Crying Myself To Sleep, Trying To Attempt To Get My life Together When Its Just Falling Apart, Single and Alone After So Many Failed Attempts, Little To No Money Left For School, Filled Out My First Professional Job Application, Everyone In My Family+Friends Acting Like They Give Two Fucks About Me When I Know They Seriously Don’t, Just Feeling Hopeless About My Future.
Honestly, If Someone Gave Me A Gun Right Now I Would Happily Rest It Against […]

People say to take care of your physical and mental health during dead and finals week. I do it and i get yelled and screamed at from all sides. It is seriously too fucking early for me to lose it! maybe a handful of sleeping meds will do the trick.

Well after a excellent weekend I just found out one of my best  friends has been admitted into a mental facility over the weekend….

My heart is literally breaking right now and I am sitting here bawling my eyes out. I know shes been having a hard time lately over the past few months but i never knew it would of came down to this… I wish i could of helped her more…   to save her from this…. I hope shes ok.

Why is it everytime my sister gets her way and i do nothing even though she acts like a total brat.
But when I try to have fun and I get to do something for myself. She acts like a total c**** and not speaking to me.
She tried to throw a glass cup at me and nearly hit me. Maybe i should find somewhere else to stay at tonight.

Well  last week I almost lost two of my closest friends due to note my sister made about them on my note book.    It really pissed me off when my friend told me I was turning into a ***** like my sister . ( I am not a *****!)  Also when she told me to grow a back bone and be my own person.  I mean this bullshit drama could have been prevented in the first place and if she would of told it to my face on what was wrong and that she hates my sister.  It could have prevented the two mental and […]

Well Heres a life update.    When I was on the trip  St.Patricks Day weekend.  The guy I was seeing dumped me. I had a feeling it wasn’t gonna last long but I still had hope.  I could of done without all the its not you its me bullshit…. I r ember laying in my bed bawling my eyes out in the hotel room bed next thing I r ember a few hours later I was on top of the balcony  railing ready to jump 3 stories down to my death….   Luckily I came to my senses just in time when the railing started to cave […]

Ok this has been pissing me off since yesterday. I cant hold it in anymore…. Yesterday me and the guy i’m currently seeing were suppose to hang out since it was his only day off from work this week. But he ended up canceling due to him having to help his uncle fix his roof. which is understandable. The next part is what pissed me off I texted him yesterday afternoon just to see how he was doing. He told me he was hanging out with a female friend from work… I know this girl but she doesn’t necessarily have the best reputation when it […]

I am honestly not sure what to do or honestly why am I writing about this.

But I’ve been seeing this guy recently. Hes a real sweetheart… We went to high school together ( he graduated two years before I did) Hes a really good guy and nothing like i had before. There is just one problem. I am having trouble being intimate with him not like sexual. Mostly stuff like cuddling, kissing, any physical touch etc… Most of the time lately I’ve been either dodging it or play shy, innocent, hard to get etc.

I know its bugging the shit out of him.. But he doesn’t […]

Why do I even bother trying anymore. To the **** that posted a rude thing about my youtube channel and called me a lard ass and told me to go kill myself. thanks for the best advice i got all day…

Sorry its been a long time since I have written on here. But I’ve had a lot happen in the past month.

Well first off I got a letter from my colleges pride club officers telling me that my position as social media coordinator has been eliminated. I mean having it done by email was honestly trashy and really set me off.

Me and the president have never gotten along. She has been nothing but rude and disrespectful towards me the whole year. I have had thoughts about resigning … I still kick myself in the ass mentally for that one….

The club has been a bad place […]

Hey everyone, I know i haven’t written much lately.. I apologize these past four weeks have been some of roughest weeks I have had this year. With numerous panic and mental attacks, distress, and my depression and anxiety at a all time high due to things that are mostly beyond my control…
I know its a day early but I just wanted to post this now since i wont be online much at all tomorrow.

To the loved ones on here that have passed on you are never forgotten…

To the loved ones online that are still here. I am happy your alive and you […]

Well my night just went to hell twice and I cant sleep. I have been trying for hours…

Does anyone have any ideas on how i can numb myself enough or force myself to pass out so i can get some rest for my first day of finals week tomorrow.

That doesn’t involve alcohol, me staring at the ceiling for god knows how long ( already tried that) or would have me end up in the E.R. or the nut house (which is the last place i need to be)

Feel free to comment them below.

Why is it when it comes to relationships and love I am always the guys last resort???? Isn’t my lovely personality and my loyalty good enough for you? I mean what do I have to do to get a date or some guy to notice me ? Be some dumb skinny ass bimbo? I am so sick of this shit….. I guess there is no such thing as true love anymore…..

Ok this has been bugging my mind for the past few weeks and I thought I would talk about it on here.
I am a part of a plus size woman’s cosplay group online and this one girl posted admitting she had an eating disorder and lost 35 pounds in two months time and the doctor told her great job keep up the good work. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this? I mean if this girl was skin and bones the doctor would probably be concerned about her health. But since the girl is plus size she doesn’t see anything […]

As you guys know I have been having anxiety issues lately when it comes to summer school. Well good news is I have a chance to fix it . Bad news is my mom told my dad and now hes yelling at me ab out it. I already have enough issues going on. WIll you get off my fucking ass please!?!? Thanks!

Well I still have the mark on my right eye that i mentioned in my last post.  My depression has hit rock bottom and so has my self harming. Gotten to the point that I actually can not leave my bedroom in the morning with out putting on make up to cover it up. Otherwise people start questioning or snickering behind my back. But thats nothing new.

My stomach has been killing me lately due to the stress and  me not being on my bc meds ( long story). Causing severe cramps and pains randomly through out the day. My appetite has also officially gone to […]

This last month for me since school ended for the year has been a lot rougher than i expected. My depression is back and haunting me worse than ever before. I have attacked myself a few times. Mostly because I am fed up with failure. I have filled out 9+ different summer job applications it has been 3+ weeks or longer and I have not heard a peep from any of them.

It is seriously getting desperate cause I would like to have some kind of funds to pay off my horrid summer classes and to travel with. Its getting to the point that I am […]

I have been sitting on this idea for the past few days. Since this site is pretty much anonymous. I was thinking about writing things on here that no one else knows. But know i could never tell anyone in my friends group or family. It would haunt them. Maybe it will give me some self confidence and either give you guys and gals a laugh or reaching for a box of tissues.   I know all of us on this site suffer in one way or another.